Dating sites.

[Wayne]

I've recently talked about the Bristol University research paper on sextortion we've been a part of. One of the many interesting things of note during that conversation is our interactions with the dating site industry. I was asked about our relationship with the dating site industry. you know me well enough by now to hopefully know I'm not going to lie about things. I've spoken at the iDate conferences a number of times, and have spoken in detail about both romance scams and sextortion. The first time we spoke was in Germany where both Firefly and I spoke. That time we covered romance scams, and there was a great moment where I said that we will always mention the name of the site the scammer made first contact. Cue every person in the audience doing a search to see if they appeared on our site or not. After that we've attended several further events to talk about scams. Now this is where it gets interesting. A number of sites immediately blocked us on Twitter, but equally a number of sites decided to point those who had been scammed on their platform to us. The truth of the matter is that scammers will attempt to find victims on every site they can, and no matter how hard they try to hide the fact, every dating site, social media site or site where there can be an interaction has the potential to be a breeding ground for scammers. Shove your head in the sand and pretend it doesn't happen or not, if one person can interact with another then the scammers will worm their way in looking for ways to make money. i don't care if you're the #1 dating site in the world, or way down the list, scammers are going to find a way onto your site and there's nothing you can do to stop it. Screw "We're scam free" - no you're not. No site is ever going to completely rid themselves of scammers. Sure they can kick out the obvious ones, but there'll still be scammers there. This is a message to each and every dating site, social media site or site that one person can talk to another. Admit you've lost the fight. Admit there's going to be scammers there. Admit that the scammers are everywhere. It's a level playing field. Just because you have scammers lurking among your members doesn't mean another site doesn't. You all do. Trying to turn a blind eye only makes you look bad. Do this instead. Admit every site is struggling. Explain how you're all fighting the same fight. Take the time to show people how to both spot and deal with scammers. Don't bury it under 6 pages of bumpf. Be open about it. Tell people how to spot it and how to avoid it. Show them what to do if it does happen to them. Don't pretend it doesn't happen on your site, and for the love of all that is holy, don't block those who want to help so you can put your heads in the sand and say "No scammers here!". Not only are you lying to yourself, but to everyone who uses your platform. That's far worse than having scammers there. That's like your house being on fire and saying "But look over there, they're on fire too and they have a pile of newspapers in the corner of the room." Frankly, pull your thumbs out of your asses and accept the fact that the entire village is on fire and you all need to work together to put the flames out instead of trying to blame your neighbours for the initial spark.