Here is a large sampling of the Emails he sent me from September 2010-the beginning of March 2012. March-the end of April was the time duing which he wanted the 2nd car, got the $42,000 and then disappeared. I don't have the Emails for that period, and much of the written communication for that time was by text message anyway.
I don't understand all of this, but for him, the money was everything. For me, it was nothing. It had no meaning then, and it has no meaning now. When I think of the money I lost, I feel nothing. However, when I think of the hopes, the dreams, the broken promises, the joyfol days and the sleepless nights, the happines and the pain, and the love he expressed and the love I felt, I feel everything. When I read these Emails, I cry.
Money is replacible and physical pain is forgotten. But emotional pain and loss is engrained in your soul forever. It is always there, and it can never be forgotten. How can I still feel love for him when he has not the capacity to feel anything? For me, love is rare, but when it is there, it is a permanent fixture in my soul.
I am a physician, I am well educated, and I have some degree of intelligence. How could I have believed all of the words in these Emails? I guess it is because I wanted to believe them so much.
Everything in these Emails meant something to me. For him, they were emotionless words written only for the purpose of obtaining money. For me, these Emails were a mayor part of my life for twenty months. In reality, everything was nonexistent.
The Emails:
Fred, understand me right... U spend a lot on f4f, i working hard, and so tired after this job... And same i have a funny sum from all!
I want make deal with you... What about if i not will work? This will most important thing which u could do for me... I will wake up and call you everu morning, we will make ower frindship more clother, u will spend only 2500$ in month (my salary), and i will live more easy...
What u think friend?
Okey Fred! Good luck! I'll cal you dear!
be carefull in road! kiss
Hello dear! I get money and will be in home about 3-4 pm! Exam yesterday was good:))
i'M GLAD U UNDERSTAND ME =) WILL MAKE FUTURE =)
Thank you dear!
Fred, sorry can't call u tonight, but I miss on you... I will call u tomorow morning about 11am! Have a good day dear! Kiss
Hi, Fred! =) I want to ask you something, I do not know can you do it or not, but I'll ask!
I actually decided to move to the U.S., that we should be together! I want this and I know you want it too! We will be happy =)
But on the other hand, I'm leaving Russia ..... here is my family and friends! But you - this is my bduschee so I know that we will be happy! And I want to. you to be happy with me ... you deserve it! Therefore, my decision - the final! I'll move to the USA!
It will be very soon, after 5 months =)) On the one hand - this is very good, but on the other - this is my last 5 months in Russia with my friends! And I want to get on this time as much as I can get!) It would be really cool and fun, if I had a car!) I would have spent those 5 months are very happy with my friends here in Russia (they are very dear to me)! And here's my question - I do not know how much money you have, but if it's enough - it would be very cool if this new year - you would give me a car (of course second-hand), because the next new year we will celebrate with you =))) Before I left the U.S. - I'm selling it, and even more profitable and bring you the money! But do not worry if it's not in your power! You are in any case, dear to me and I in any case will move to the U.S., that we should be together =))
--
Like u dear=)
Maybe we can to buy car in Dec? I will look not so expensive car....
yes, i'm sure! i will sell it and it will enough for my movie in usa! my speacking russin is perfect and i know a lot from psihology...so i can easy sell all=))
about transfer? i can go in bank and to open acoount! but they have limit 5000$ in month, but i'm not sure...will go and know
Thank you my dear! I understand that you trust me - it is very important to me! So I can relax about that with me nothing will happen in the USA! Of course I'll be working, I can do many things well and I think =) We'll be happy!))
I think about BMW, it's good here for driving in winter, but will see!
U can't to sent me money on account, it's to much money! They will check how and why .. so...it is problem!
how many U can sent using western union?
Thank you my dear.... it isn't only words... I really like u.. not for the money, which u send me.... You doing it for me....U want me to see happy..! Thanks!
Nobody never not was with me same as you...
I am happy, cause I have you =)
25 000 is better than 22 000$ (I will sell car here in summer about 30 000 maybe)!)
I will go in banks today and will pick up all money!) If something wrong - i will call you!
I'm not sure when I will leave for car, i have last day on study - 25 december...! but I will sent you email every day! I promise dear!!!
Hello Fred!)) I just back in home, so long time drived! car is perfect! I did buy INFINITY)))
about my moving! Dear, I know about it more tha you! And I strat do it! from MILITARY TICKET! when I will get it - my friends will help me with VISA for study!
so...only about study I'm not sure!)
I am very glad that you write to me about it! it gives the yin to understand that you have inside! I really appreciate what you give me! I'm happy, because you always want me well! I dmayu you can not offend me in my life! You're very kind person, so I want to take care of you, too, to please you, draw a smile on your face and make happy! Thanks to those that you are mine!)
I really want to make the car, but no more than to go to you in the USA! I'm looking forward to it and constantly think about my future life with you! And when I think I feel the warmth and joy!
Thank you very much, for being try to make me happy!
Okey my Dear! Thank you!) Else 1 month free life))) It is so nice not working, thanks!
I will call you in this evening! Promise))
thanks you for the mail Dear!))
kiss you!
dear Fred! I keep telling you about my friend Basil ... We were friends with him before to go to school .. about 5 years! At school we were in one class and sat at one desk! With first class - we went with him to engage in Sambo, and walked together for exercise and training for over 10 years! We are constantly on vacation together, traveled together to the competition ... His parents call me son! They often helped us when my father drank and beat us ... Vasya - my brother, but not in blood ...!
Now with him there was a trouble, because of the fights he had problems with the kneecap, he even goes bad ...(( I can not write this without tears ... He needs a change operation sacral cartilage on both feet .. This operation costs about $ 4000 dollars! a lot of money for his parents! Vasya is the sister of Luda, who is also studying here in St. Petersburg ... His poor parents are working very hard and often, they sometimes have nothing to eat! "They give all children, to the last ruble ... "My duty, my duty is to help my best friend ... so your money you send to me in March - I'll give everything for the operation ... thus helping a friend and his poor parents, that I most live in March, to pay for rent, school and exams ... I have to go to work in video chat! misunderstand me why I'll do it! "I love you, but it's not cheating .... but to help my best friend, brother members and in my family too ...
THANK YOU DEAR
I'm so glad to read this massage... Sorry I can't writins same wonderful as you, just can say I'm happy now! Happy cause I have you!)
Happy Valentine's Day
It is so bad news....U have problem!=((
I not know how it will help...but I sent here photos documents which I have on car...
and I was in servise today, they again say me to buy new parts....now I haven't enough money for to pay for the repair=(
and If u can't sent me more WU...it mean I can't live... Cause I will help Vasya...
I have problems...and u, cause have me... it is so sad!
not know what's wrong.,,, But I think U think and check now 1 idea ''u think I want from you only money'' well....u stop to sent me more... Before u promised me to sent money on clothers CK and nothing, after U said u wanted to sent me 1050 on Valentines day...and nothing, after I said - i need moner on repair car and again nothing! Now - u lose your job cause sick... How I underatnd u wnat to see my reaction...
it is strange! If u habe this idea (i want from you only money) - then stop write me anymore!
maybe I not right
It is so bad news....U have problem!=((
I not know how it will help...but I sent here photos documents which I have on car...
and I was in servise today, they again say me to buy new parts....now I haven't enough money for to pay for the repair=(
and If u can't sent me more WU...it mean I can't live... Cause I will help Vasya...
I have problems...and u, cause have me... it is so sad!
Thank you my Dera for this transfer! I understand you! I will working a lot and hope u not will need to sent me anymore!
I pick up money from moneygarm
Yes fred, i tald... I pick up 3000 from money gram!
Now I hope U can image feels, if u will be without me! It was like lesson for you!
I just back in home and will sleep now! I will call you about midnight! Have a good day
very glad u re happy my love
and very glad u could help me with money
2500 would be better than 2000, and wil great if u could sent it before 1 april! I must pay for the reht 1st
hey Fred! Sorry Dear iprobably i will working tonight! Tomorow i will buy iphone, so we will chat everywhere
Thank you my Dear! Kiss you!
I not will call u, cause not want wake up you, will call u this evening by iphone
Hello Fred! thank you so much for the money!
how are you?
Hello Fred!
Thank you so much!
Don't think i not want take money in future from you, cause I mad...
No, i can't to be mad! U re so nice man, u making a lot for me....really thanks! My life is more better now...and it's cause U did help me a lot!
I have a lot of wonderful things, which for me was inpossible to have 6 month ago! I want to say you ''thank again and again'... PLEASE, not sent me money anymore... U give me the all. what U have! I can find money!
I will very miis you! I miss you now
I am near Dear!
I love you!
I haven't power anymore, I can't stay in SPB...I can't find job for pay all my bills. I'm not student if not will pay, I havent' place for live - if not will pay, food and other...
So.. I must come back in my town, live with parents and working on fabric - this is my future Fred!
I LOVE YOU
Hi dear! Tomorrow I go to my job. I will be working in a trendy beauty salon! Prior to his work, I go to school to recruit kids. I'll coachthem to fight - it's wonderful! I love kids! And I'm glad I can change them =)
I would like to ask you a little money on clothes for work ... I should be wearing too trendy! But, I understand you - if you can not sendthem to me! It's okay! The main thing - I can see you now on Skype!
hello my Dear...
I miss you...
I want celebrate next New Year with you..
New Year starts...I know u will create your new life. Do it for us. I love you
I do not know - did you feel it or not, as I hung emotionally and wondered when he was telling you about the life of my mother.
It is in an unreal situation, works like a horse - her father was beating, my sister does not respect and takes away everything andthrowing off her all her duties. I was really tormented myself for not being able to help ... I try, I try, I try .... but in the Russia I havenothing. I cheated with the salon hairstyles. People here are angry and alochnye. I thought, and this question scares me - something to live in this world? I cant anymore.... I'm always try to be positive with smile, but I cant...
Thank you my Dear! Very glad to read this when I wake up
I love you too
I have a friend of a man, he works in the Russian government. He was very influential and rich. We are engaged in a fitness club.Sometimes after a workout and before learning he invites me to dinner. He's gay. He understands that I'm a young guy with an amazing body and face, and a clever head. He always invites me to be his boy-friend. Tells me that I am worthy to wear expensive clothes, drive a nice car. He says if I'm with him, I do not pridktsya work. Sometimes I express to him my business ideas - and he says he would invest the money.
I will have holidays 7-11 March, Maybe we can have meet in Spain and have some rest/)
Maybe if u have some extra money - u can sent it to me for travel in holidays? If u havent - its okey, I not will be sadly or think something bad about you
Thank you
I love you
I miss you...