Advert.

Do NOT tell your scammer he is posted here, or report their accounts as it puts others at risk!

Gold digger or Pro Dater

Stories we feel worth sharing with others are moved here.

Gold digger or Pro Dater

Unread postby Catfish » Wed Feb 18, 2015 3:40 pm

This is my first post here, I have never been a victim of a scam myself, but I have seen the damage it has done to someone I was friends with, and I thought I would do my own digging! This guy met a woman through a fan site of a music artist, and soon started chatting on Yahoo, then Skype. She instantly connected with him despite her not speaking any English, and he got very swept away with the romance believing she was his soulmate , and they constantly chatted on Facebook, he used to like and comment on all her photo's and also connected with her friends and family. it was really weird he considered himself a part of the family and also his mom and relatives connected with the family in Romania and came to accept them as legit. it was like having a imaginary friend and even tho it sounds really stupid too get sucked into this it started in 2009 and as far as I know still goes on. somedays she didn't talk with him and he got very angry and upset, he is disabled and doesn't get about very much and is lonely so he really loved his Romanian girl andher family and so he got a passport and started learning Romanian so he could be with them. She used to be a model and atv presenter when she was young and he was really excited about all the connection she had in the movie industry and television. He used to send videos every week about his therapy so the family would be updated with his health, so when he was well he could go to see them. she loved fashion and he regularly sent dresses and shoes etc from Top Shop and an iPad andother things she liked. last year he paid for her to come to England and go to a convection with him, it cost over five hundred for fights and another two hundred fir concert tickets. when she got here she cried because she lost her brother's camcorder on the second day so he bought her a new one, and she hadn't packed any summer clothes so he took her clothes shopping, and he gave her his mother's engagement ring to. They didn't talk much because her English is poor and didn't sleep together. when she went back she told him she would come back at Christmas then take him home with her but she didn't, she said she didn't have any money but she posted pictures of herself and her sister and another man in Paris, then a couple of months back she put up some more pictures taken in England with other people so this was a lie.
User avatar
Catfish
Junior survivor
 
Posts: 17
Joined: Wed Feb 18, 2015 3:09 pm

Re: Gold digger or Pro Dater

Unread postby Catfish » Wed Feb 18, 2015 3:42 pm

I do not know the exact amount of money he sent to her, he used to use western union, but mostlyhe sent presents, but healso sent money so hher auntie could get his room ready in Bucharest where they weregoing to live
User avatar
Catfish
Junior survivor
 
Posts: 17
Joined: Wed Feb 18, 2015 3:09 pm

Re: Gold digger or Pro Dater

Unread postby SlapHappy » Wed Feb 18, 2015 4:38 pm

Catfish,'

From the story you told, it sounds to me much more likely to be a pro-dater than a normal relationship.
But, without details of the girl in question, we cannot be 100% certain.
We would need name, email addresses she uses, chat usernames, fb link, phone numbers, and emails sent from her to your friend, especially those leading up to and including money requests.
Ideally, your friend would need to come here and provide the information himself and talk, or he may not ever be convinced of it until he has lost every last dime he has.
If anyone asks you for money on the Internet they are always a scammer, 100% of the time.
Blackmail Scammed? Go here: https://www.scamsurvivors.com/blackmail/#/
FAQ viewtopic.php?f=3&t=19
Victim of a scam? Go here: https://scamsurvivors.com/forum/viewtop ... =3&t=26504
User avatar
SlapHappy
human guy! With small brain.
 
Posts: 45081
Joined: Tue Apr 17, 2012 5:18 am
Location: Just a face in a magazine, watching you post your scammer's details.

Re: Gold digger or Pro Dater

Unread postby Catfish » Wed Feb 18, 2015 6:48 pm

Thank you for your answer Slaphappy, seems you are an expert.
Is it normal for a scammer of this kind to use family members and children in the scam to foster closeness with the victim? It was all the family photos and videos that made me think they were real plus I got sucked into the illusion because my friend was so sure about it and made it seem normal. I do not know what her real relationships with the people on Facebook are. My friend calls her relatives auntie etc like he is part of the family, and he also exchanges gifts with the children. It seems funny he sends them expensive presents but they send him trash like you get in a dollar store. There are a lot of children in the house and several women. One of the other women also has a long distance relationship with a man on an oil rig. I used to be on Facebook and have since left but my friend wanted me to add his Romanian friends so we could all be friends. Because I am a woman I was not a target. I talked to her about my friend and she told me they were not in a relationship and she had a boyfriend, but then she skyped my friend and told him I was jealous and she cried and said I was trying to split them up. I can give you her Facebook page but I am worried in case it is real and the kids get put at risk. I cannot talk to my friend about it he is very angry and defensive about it. No one can talk to hi because he really wanted to go to be with them but he can't because she is lieing to him.
User avatar
Catfish
Junior survivor
 
Posts: 17
Joined: Wed Feb 18, 2015 3:09 pm

Re: Gold digger or Pro Dater

Unread postby SlapHappy » Wed Feb 18, 2015 7:40 pm

Yes, one of the many tactics is for the scammer to use their family, either fake or real, as a weapon. While also isolating the victim from the real people in his life. "crying and saying you are trying to break them up," they gain control of the victim's emotions and mind. It's a brainwashing technique, the constant attention online, until the victim believes everything they say, and every lie has an excuse that seems real. Even if they get suspicious, they cannot face the truth. The very thought that all the time and money they wasted, the lies only for money, is just too much. They refuse to believe that anyone could be so heartless and cruel, and also be doing the same thing to a dozen or more men at the same time.
If anyone asks you for money on the Internet they are always a scammer, 100% of the time.
Blackmail Scammed? Go here: https://www.scamsurvivors.com/blackmail/#/
FAQ viewtopic.php?f=3&t=19
Victim of a scam? Go here: https://scamsurvivors.com/forum/viewtop ... =3&t=26504
User avatar
SlapHappy
human guy! With small brain.
 
Posts: 45081
Joined: Tue Apr 17, 2012 5:18 am
Location: Just a face in a magazine, watching you post your scammer's details.

Re: Gold digger or Pro Dater

Unread postby Catfish » Thu Feb 19, 2015 1:21 am

I feel really guilty resorting to a page like this because I feel like I am interfering with a genuine happy romance and I have already been accused and threatened because they say that I am jealous and trying to break them up. My friend proposed to this woman in 2012 and there is still no wedding or anything, because I talked to her on Facebook I am the devil and went behind his back. I am being treated like the devil and he hates me now because I said he had to choose between her and me. She had promised him a world tour and getting him an agent to get his book published and I couldn't do that for himbecause I am not well off. It makes no sense he sends her monies but she has promised him a private jet and a studio of his own and she can back this up because she was a to personality in RomanianI in the late eighties and has videos of that and she says she still is in contact with her agent. Her auntie sent him pictures of all the furniture she is buying for the apartment in Bucharest they are all pictures from Ikea but try telling him that !
He really hatesme now for interfering he got his brother and a friend who is a nightclub bouncer to threaten me but it is he who is the ass hole not me.
User avatar
Catfish
Junior survivor
 
Posts: 17
Joined: Wed Feb 18, 2015 3:09 pm

Re: Gold digger or Pro Dater

Unread postby Catfish » Thu Feb 19, 2015 1:33 am

My friend writes poetry and sings but it is all for her and he actually wrote a whole album for her to come to England to record with himbecause she is a professional singer and a dancer and has performed on Eurovision.
I am very hurt and disoriented because I don't even know what is real any more and I am confused and upset feel like I'm having a nervous breakdown I am on anti depressants. I have tried to help and make him see reason and he has attached me and hurt me for it because he said no one can come between him and her I loved him what a pile of shit this has turned out to be. He knows he has been scammed but he is proud and his pride won't even let him apologise
User avatar
Catfish
Junior survivor
 
Posts: 17
Joined: Wed Feb 18, 2015 3:09 pm

Re: Gold digger or Pro Dater

Unread postby SlapHappy » Thu Feb 19, 2015 1:39 am

Scammers can promise the world, simply because they do not have to provide it. They show no guilt at all.
But you cannot help someone unwilling to help themselves.
Do not get involved in fist fights over this, as it will only make things worse for him and you.
At this point I would say back off him, because he may need a friend after the fantasy world the scammer created ends.
If anyone asks you for money on the Internet they are always a scammer, 100% of the time.
Blackmail Scammed? Go here: https://www.scamsurvivors.com/blackmail/#/
FAQ viewtopic.php?f=3&t=19
Victim of a scam? Go here: https://scamsurvivors.com/forum/viewtop ... =3&t=26504
User avatar
SlapHappy
human guy! With small brain.
 
Posts: 45081
Joined: Tue Apr 17, 2012 5:18 am
Location: Just a face in a magazine, watching you post your scammer's details.

Re: Gold digger or Pro Dater

Unread postby Catfish » Thu Feb 19, 2015 1:54 am

I have not spoken to my dear friend since September and it hurts me so much that I have been portrayed by him as being vindictive and trying to ruin his life, his mother is upset and depressed, but she is blaming the wrong person by blaming me she has to take it out on someone and she only wanted her son to be happy and healthy ! I cannot do anything but I feel like I am going behind her back. I left Facebook in November because of this because I was friends with the Romanian woman and her other family members, but then I reallised what she was doing because I got someone else to befriend her and she got her friends to block one another because she said they were trolling her but really she didn't want them reading each other's comments. She accused me of being a troll and blocked me and some of my friends too.
User avatar
Catfish
Junior survivor
 
Posts: 17
Joined: Wed Feb 18, 2015 3:09 pm

Re: Gold digger or Pro Dater

Unread postby SlapHappy » Thu Feb 19, 2015 2:28 am

You need to exit this situation, and take care of yourself, first. Pro-daters are the most dangerous kind of romance scammers. They will actually meet the victims briefly, sometimes sleep with them if it is necessary to support the fantasy and get money, but all the rest of the promises are fantasy. They will tenaciously defend their story, and will do anything it takes to keep their victims until every last dime is extracted out of them, and then dump them.
They will say any lie, use any tactic to isolate the victim and attack anyone trying to convince the victim that they are scammers. They do not care about the fallout in the families of the victims, their friends, anyone. It's all about money.

You have done all that you can, but it is time to get out of it, and pray that he finally gets what is going on and drops her. Listen to some of our podcasts with romance-scammed victims. It may help you to understand what is going on in his head right now, and how he got there. viewtopic.php?f=3&t=1370
If anyone asks you for money on the Internet they are always a scammer, 100% of the time.
Blackmail Scammed? Go here: https://www.scamsurvivors.com/blackmail/#/
FAQ viewtopic.php?f=3&t=19
Victim of a scam? Go here: https://scamsurvivors.com/forum/viewtop ... =3&t=26504
User avatar
SlapHappy
human guy! With small brain.
 
Posts: 45081
Joined: Tue Apr 17, 2012 5:18 am
Location: Just a face in a magazine, watching you post your scammer's details.

Next

Return to Tell your story here.

Who is online

Users browsing this forum: No registered users and 1 guest