My life was going well, having already established my life here in the States as a foreign worker, have some friends from home and new ones. Though I am on marrying age (or a little bit more beyond that) and lots of my friends teasing me when am I settling down, it is really not a big issue for me. I have broken up with my longtime boyfriend because long-distance relationship did not work for us. I was ready to socialize, had occasional dates but never did I entertain the thought of online dating. I was always on Facebook (to connect with my friends and family from home which is across the globe) and I was protective of my privacy but I did not realize that I had mistakenly changed the privacy setting to public thus enabling me to receive messages from non-FB friends.
It happened one day last December. I had lots of messages from people I don’t know personally, wanting to know me. Since I was in a very good mood that day, I replied to some of them just trying to be friendly. One caught my attention, from Martin Woolford, complimenting me on my picture and I just replied “Thanks”. Then the next day, I received a lengthy reply describing himself. Honestly, he was not really good looking but I found him humble and charming through his words. More exchange of messages followed until he asked me to communicate through YM and I agreed because that was more convenient for me because I can do it through my smartphone, so anytime and anywhere I am. I just regarded it as for fun but then he started getting serious and professing his love. That was when I decided to end it up because I am not in favor of long distance relationship (as he claimed he was a businessman from UK) and it was too good to be true for me. But he was able to convince me to continue it and it was getting more serious. To be honest, I was liking it. Emails, sms, YMs, frequent phone calls…I woke up always inspired those days. I was not aware that romance scams existed at that time so though I have some doubts, I still thought that he was genuine. Then one day (it was March 3rd to be exact this year), he was going to Malaysia for some business and after that was about to visit me here. Then suddenly there was a problem, he was short of funds to clear the custom duties and I was his only hope. Compassionate as I was, I was willing to help him without questions, and sent him the money (total of $7,800). After a week, he said he was ready to go back home and will send me back my money right away. And then, I received a call claiming to be a Malaysian police saying that “my man” was in custody for violation of custom laws and since they could not contact anyone but me, I had to raise $9,200 to bail him out. That was when I checked British Embassy in Malaysia website and read on their homepage about scam. I called them informing of a British national being detained and she directly told me (thanks to her whoever she was) that it was a scam and advised to stop all the contacts.
I goggled “ scam” and it led me to an anti-scam site (RS). Though it was already late, I read so many romance scam stories there and I realized that I was not alone. I still received lots of calls (at least 15 calls/day) from my scammer for a week after that) but I totally ignored all of them having 100% convinced and educated that all was a scam. Oh, I can still imagine the pain, the unexplainable hurt I felt that time. It was beyond comprehension. But it was also during that time that I received lots of encouraging words and supports from wonderful people and some of them are here in ScamSurvivors (you know who you are). Their supports have helped me greatly to heal. The first week was not easy. There were always tears but I realize now that those tears were not for my scammer but for myself, for the extreme hurt I had. My therapy was reading other scam stories, exchanging emails from people who have shown their support, listening to inspiring songs and of course prayer. My nature of work also helped me survive those difficult times where we have to be always pleasant and cheerful to our patients (I kept smiling though I was hurting inside). I never told any of my friends and my family about this but I got to talk to them every day and that helped too.
Fast forward to present (exactly 43 days since I discovered that I was scammed), the wound is still there but it is healing extremely well. I would like to take this chance to thank all those who have sent their messages and support (to mention Pinky, duckhunter, firefly and most especially Ruffled Feathers who did not left me on my entire healing process).
During the time when I was in much pain, even a simple word of consolation is a great comfort for me. I am doing well now and I guess I can say that I am almost, if not completely, healed. And I am now also starting to work to recover the financial loss. I volunteered to do weekends and some overtimes to earn the money back. Because the money that I gave away was supposed to be my vacation money to my home country and I really want to go home this Christmas. God willing, I can raise this up.Now, to give back, I want to help others too who have been scammed. I was thinking of what way. I can never be a scam baiter because I am not really comfortable with playing with emotions though I know that scammer’s emotions are not real. But don’t get me wrong, I really appreciate the job of the scam baiters, they are doing a fantastic job to help save more scam victims and I salute them. So, when I learned about this site and most especially some of the people who have helped me are here too, without hesitation, I decided to join. In my own little way, through my support and compassion the way I was helped, I can help others survive too, to let them know that they are not alone; to turn the romance scam victims into survivors and victors.
Yeah, I remember the flowers and to add the fact that patient was confused, demented & can hardly follow instructions but still was so perceptive. I'm honored to be working w/ u here & I feel blessed to have known you.
