A few weeks went by. My profile got a few hits, but there was nothing that grabbed my attention. The first interesting man - Larry - was a contractor, working on a two-month project in Nigeria. I didn't mind so much that he was half a world away, but he took days, sometimes more than a week to reply to my messages. I didn't hate it, but his lack of attention left the door wide open for the next one.
Richard was a very good looking man, but my first impression was that he might be a little vain. His photos were posed, his clothes and grooming impeccable. And he was thirteen years my junior. Why, I wondered, would this man be interested in me? Nevertheless I was flattered, and, overlooking his atrocious spelling and grammar, set out to get to know him better. By the third email Richard asked me to marry him, and I suddenly lost interest. It was just too weird ... he didn't even know me!
About that time I got another message, from an attractive and shy looking man. Everything about him was unassuming yet charming. His heavily lashed big brown eyes were amazing. I was intrigued. A few emails passed between us in the first week, then we graduated to instant messaging. Getting to know Jerry felt like pulling teeth at first ... he was just so shy and polite. I felt I had to make the moves to get to know him better. He said he was a nutritionist and fitness guru living in New York. I had personally studied natural health and alternative medicine for years. I couldn't believe my luck, we had things in common ... but oddly we didn't discuss that much.
By the end of the second week Jerry and I were chatting daily, sometimes for as many as 6 hours per day. Soon my regular routines had been altered, my friends and family receding into the background of my life. I rarely left the house anymore. I lived for the moments Jerry and I connected our hearts via the internet. Life was good. About a month in we started making plans for Jerry to come and visit for a few weeks, then if all went well he thought he might relocate to my city. He hinted that serious things were developing, but didn't elaborate other than to say he was falling for me.
He called me his princess. My daughter called him a keeper. I called him baby. I smiled a lot those days.
Then one day, out of the blue, Jerry told me that he had an opportunity to 'supplement his resume' with the World Health Organization by doing a nutritional study in a 'third world war' country. The country was Benin, Africa, and he was leaving in two days.
Five days after arriving in Benin (turns out it was Benin STATE, Nigeria and not the Republic of Benin), Jerry was apparently attacked by militants, beaten and robbed of all his money and identification. Couldn't pay his hotel bill or his return flight home. The hotel manager was holding his passport as insurance for the room fees. Jerry begged me to help him pay the bill, get a flight out and come directly to my city where he would find work and settle with me.
My first response was panic for his wellbeing, although something didn't seem right to me. My heart pounded as red flags sprouted in my solar plexus. But what if it was true? What if he really needed my help? I couldn't leave him stranded. He had nobody else to turn to. No, I couldn't take a chance.
Over the next days I sent Jerry every bit of money I could get my hands on, which btw, was not a lot. I'm sure he was disappointed. But I kept trying. I was up all night consoling Jerry on msn and doing what I could to come up with more money during the day. Jerry was pleading with me to get a loan because the measly $600 I had sent just wasn't enough.
Fortunately someone at a networking site I belonged to saw something I wrote about Jerry that reminded her of a news story about romance scams and she gave me a heads up. That was all I needed. I instantly called Western Union and was fortunate enough to intercept my last money transfer.
Surprisingly, as emotionally wounded as I was, I bounced back quickly, bypassing grief and going straight to anger. This criminal did more than break my heart ... he betrayed my faith in humanity, and crushed my rose colored glasses while he was at it. I was choked.
But it didn't end there ... over time he taught me that I am indestructible, that I own my power and he cannot have it unless I give it to him. He showed me who I really am, and gave me the opportunity to help others realize who they are too. This criminal unwittingly created a powerful adversary to his efforts of spreading evil. If I had an opportunity to go back and undo being scammed I would not. I am grateful for the lessons he taught me.
I have also become a baiter since my scam. While it's frowned on to bait one's own scammer (and for good reason), I ran across mine again and have run 4 successful baits on him in the last 3 1/2 years. The most fun was the one where I became his boss, Pinky assisted (and talked him out of his clothes for the webcam), then Wayne published the 'porno' on Youtube, complete with outrageous subtitles and all the scammer's contact data. Ah, sweet revenge.
Oh, btw ... Larry and Richard were scammers too.
