by Stimpy » Tue Jun 26, 2012 6:03 pm
Exactly one week ago, I had reached a point where I had presented my story many times over and had gotten about all of the support of the many good people on Scam Survivors as possible. Despite all of the optimism of others, I was not there yet. RF and I had a long way to go. I was still submerged in an altered reality.
Twenty months ago, when my scam started, I was drawn into another place that was filled with lies, deceptions, and empty promises. It was a place that could only be reached by passing into a whole differnet reality.There I experienced a life like I had never known before. It was a confusing life where I gave another invidual everything I had and more. I had been drawn there with the hopes and plans of finding love and companionship. This I was promised. I gave and gave to a person I loved and cherished. However, I received little back except for more promises for a wonderful future life.
During this time, I lived a complex life with the many ups and downs of real life. This was intermingled with periods of both brief happines and painful manipulations. After a long and painful scam, I was deserted and left in a world of disapointment and confusion. Anger was mixed with a dying love and the inability to accept that I had not been loved in return. I tried and tried to get better, but the problem was that I was unable to get out of that altered reality. I still loved my scammer, and I thought he loved me. His image stayed in my brain, and I could not accept that he was not a good person.
RF worked with me for hours, sometimes until late into the night. She would push me, and I would falter. I was stuck.
Finally she had to give the the ultimate challenge, to remove him from my own mind. She left me alone to see what would happen. I spent three days in psychological isolation. There I did my part. I drove my own mind to the limit. I think it reached the point where it could not take it anymore. RF called me and something beautiful happened that I cannot explain. I left the old reality and passed into a new one. The old one vanished. When I realized what had happened, my scammer was back in Russia, and my brain was in a brand new world. I am back now. The pain is gone, and I am free.
I owe it all to RF. She did it all. I just followed.
Stimpy