Once scammed

[Yöperhonen]

I was scammed on July 16th this year. I posted my story almost immediately after the event but for some reason it got deleted from these pages. So anyway it did happen and all the guilt was there very strong. I'm part of a buddhist organisation and lead activities so a scam like this would go down really badly. Yes i did it and it was out of curiosity. It took me months to understand the process and this site helped. I even send the scammer 250 euros, before discovering this site. You know I was so naive before the scam, didn't even know about this problem. Didn't know this can heppen to you.
My recovery has been the process of just getting on with life. I meditate regularly which helps. I reflect on life and the impermanence of all things including fear and grief, this has helped too. My friends saw that something was going on with me when this scam happened. The hard part has been that I haven't been able to confess to any of my friends to tell them about the scam because i still fear of a back-slash that my buddhist friends would disown me or i would be ostrasized in sme way. This fear s less now but it still grips me. And i even fear my girlfriend would leave me. I have managed to get some idea why the scammers do what they do. They often, apparetly come from very poor backgrounds, maybe i can have some compassion towards the scammers even! What they do is totally wrong, of course, it's totally unethical activity and criminal.
I have do magic bullet to offer to the victims. I'm grateful to this site and the work the people do here. Keep brightening people's lives. Thank you for your work!
I think it would be better if the scam victim , like myself, could be totally honest and open to his friends about what happened? But this seems hard. maybe one day? much warmth to all!

[Yöperhonen]

Funny thing that sex is such a serious issue. It makes you so vulnerable, when you're scammed, doesn't it? literally caught pants down. Maybe part of this wanting to try cyber-sex stuff, is the excitement of technology?

[SlapHappy]

Thanks for telling your story. You are only very wrong about one thing.

They often, apparetly come from very poor background

This is far from the truth. And they do not deserve any compassion for what they do to people, driving some to suicide even, without a single thought for them.
You may be able to forgive them, but save your compassion for other 95% of people who would never even think of doing the horrible things that these life-long criminals do and would rather starve to death than hurt others this way.

[firefly]

I was scammed on July 16th this year. I posted my story almost immediately after the event but for some reason it got deleted from these pages.

Sorry to read you were scammed, Yöperhonen. Your first lines confuses me... no report is deleted from these pages as long as it is about a confirmed scammer. The only reported cases that are not posted here are the ones were minors are involved - because even if the scammer lie about his age, the victim is aware about that detail before being scammed and that's a situation we do not want to be involved in under no circumstances. We are here to help victims of scams, not pedophiles.

For this reason I need to ask you if it was the case in your situation. If not, can you try to post the details you have about your scammer? Those info may save someone else soon...

[Yöperhonen]

Hi again. It's over six months now since I was scammed and yes, life does go on, thankfully! What I meant about maybe being to feel compassion for the scammer, was, as I said, not to accept at all their behaviour, but ultimately be able to accept that they too are human beings and they too suffer and breathe and feel all sorts of feelings. I don't accept what they get up to but I accept that they too can change, they too can become right(as it were) That is what buddhist mean, when they talk about compassion. It's not weak at all but a strong stance. You know that even though evil IS evil, there's a chance that people become aware of their motives, aware of their suffering too.

[Yöperhonen]

Just another thought. I do wonder how many more of us need to get scammed before this makes it to the media? I do hope that people would know more about this and be able to avoid this trap. So again, let's try our best to be vocal about this problem, as it's not going to go away otherwise?

[Wayne]

It is making the media now. I was even part of a piece on BBC news for it back in Dec. of last year, plus there's been a number of newspaper articles. Still not enough, but we're doing what we can.