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Is this a good idea?

Scammers blackmailing people over webcam footage or photographs. Sometimes referred to as "sextortion". Your first port of call should be to for the steps needed.

Is this a good idea?

Unread postby gamshihaja » Mon Nov 18, 2013 12:04 pm

I feel as though I cannot find peace until I know that my video no longer exists with the scammer. So I thought of this, what if I contacted my scammer again? And I say something along the lines of "hey I'm back, do you still have my video? If you do show it to me and I'll pay"

Do you think this is a smart thing to do?
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Re: Is this a good idea?

Unread postby Wayne » Mon Nov 18, 2013 1:28 pm

No! I think it's a f***ing stupid thing to do.
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Re: Is this a good idea?

Unread postby gamshihaja » Mon Nov 18, 2013 4:05 pm

But its the only way I can think of to confirm that my video no longer exists with the scammer. If he doesn't have my video but lies to me, I would also somehow know since he won't show it to me but still say that he had it, or he may send a video file that doesn't work

I really need the peace of mind... I feel like I'm going mad. I don't know if I should go see a psychologist

I really just can't take it, the fact that someone that I do not know may possess something that could ruin my life. And I know this is my imagination running wild but what if these Philippine scammers privately sell the victim's videos to other gay pinoys for a low price. Then my video would be circulating further without my knowledge.I know webcam sex is illegal in Philippines but the country is really corrupt. Its so easy to bribe the police in the country and the police aren't very efficient in enforcing the rules. And this is very wrong of me but I've come to have a strong dislike for all philippine people.

My mind is wondering, I've been reading the advice on this forum countless number of times but I can't convince myself that the Philippine scammers would actually delete our videos. So what if its illegal, its not like the police comes down to check on household computers for illegal webcam footage.
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Re: Is this a good idea?

Unread postby ItVictim » Mon Nov 18, 2013 5:11 pm

And what about if he still has your video? he will show it to you and you will feel even more depress. What will you do in this case? you will vanish another time? in this case he would probably send the video because he would think that you tried to joke him.
But whats more: do you think that anyone will pay someone (even for a low price) for something that could be find easily on the web? I don't know maybe you have the biggest penis in the world and they will sell your video as a :lmao:
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Re: Is this a good idea?

Unread postby firefly » Mon Nov 18, 2013 5:33 pm


any contact with your scammer lead you back in the trap. That´s the main reason for you not to do it. Another part of this problem: how you can believe that someone able to take advantages of your mistake by blackmailing you will tell you the truth? The scammers lie all the time and the only thing they are interested in are your money. Even if they dont have your video anymore, they will tell you that they have it, just to start again their unfinished "business" with you from the point where you left it when you blocked the scammer.

Never ever contact again the scammer who scammed you - when you are victim for the first time you have the excuse that you have had no idea what´s happening. After is no excuse. You know what he is capable of, you know what the danger is. Do not forget he had since the first contact all the information he need about you. Playing with your own scammer in any way jeopardize everything you have done since you drop the scammer and expose you completely.

Reading the topics here, hope you understood a basic element: you can do whatever you want with your life. It´s yours. But dont ask us to lie in any way just to make you feel better, because we will not do it. We can not help people unable to help themselvs.

And before to jump at the conclusion that the police in that country is not efficient - the arrests made in Philippines for this type of cyber activity were plenty - maybe it would be a good idea to contact the police in that country and to try to fill a complain there. Just after you are dealing directly with them and they dont do anything you can talk about what they are able and willing or not to do in this matter.
Help yourself by helping others - report your scammer here.
Google can be your best friend;use it if you have doubts about someone met online. If someone met online only asks for money, no matter what reason, it´s 100% scam.
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Re: Is this a good idea?

Unread postby listen2them » Tue Nov 19, 2013 9:13 pm

I was in the same exact spot you were in over a year ago. You have to listen to the advice here. I was in full panic mode and thought as you do which is to say attempt to control the situation. I had visions of my life being ruined and the video splashed over all sites. The truth of the matter is it didn't happen and my thinking was irrational. You actually do control the situation. Block, delete and make no contact with this person. Trust me over time you will think less and less about it and your thinking will become rational. YOU HAVE NOTHING TO WORRY ABOUT (and I know b/c I was in your shoes before)......
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Re: Is this a good idea?

Unread postby NewLight » Wed Nov 20, 2013 6:27 pm

All those feelings that you harbor, are normal feelings. Freaking out is part of the process. In this situation not only do you feel like you lost control and every element of your life is falling but you feel more then helpless. This over time will pass, many of us were victims and there are so many more victims out there. You have to remember these scammers deal with 30-40 victims on a daily basis, this in a way is there job. The scammer that dealt with you likely does not even remember you at all, so by you contacting them again all you are doing is saying hey im still here, that will put them back on to you. Maybe contacting his local authorities might give you some closure, but the best thing to do now is to move forward, follow our simple steps and try to learn from this experience. This is not a life altering thing because 99% of the time it is never posted. Just be confident try to relax and listen to the various other situations that have played out in the past. I really hope you find your balance, and if you dont there are many willing to help you with your situation.

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Re: Is this a good idea?

Unread postby Ruffled Feathers » Thu Nov 21, 2013 5:15 am

Hello gamshihaja --- please listen to these people that are giving you their advice and learn from it. To contact your scammer, you are asking for even more problems and they will never, ever leave you alone, they want money and fast money, that is all they want.

Please listen to firefly and NewLight - they know what they are talking about. Follow all the instructions on this site, deactivate everything and do no answer an email, Skype message - whatever from anyone you do not know. The creeps want you to panic so you will pay --- do not pay them, ignore them, and they go away to prey on another victim.

I have walked in your shoes - as has many others on this site, pay attention to those who are giving you advice, for you own safety and peace of mind.

A scammer is only as good as the fear he creates.
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Re: Is this a good idea?

Unread postby gamshihaja » Thu Nov 21, 2013 3:42 pm

Thank you everyone, and sorry for being so paranoid. I'll try my best to keep calm and from my imagination from going wild. Chances are that my scammer won't upload my video onto a porn site. Thank you, I will try to stay calm but on alert.
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Re: Is this a good idea?

Unread postby SlapHappy » Thu Nov 21, 2013 4:00 pm

Yeah, freaking out seems to be the norm in this scam.
But, here is one more thing to help, after you read "closure topic."

Podcast #11 - An interview with a blackmailed member of this site:
or go to and scroll to number 11.

This member relates his own scam a couple of months after he was scammed, how he coped, and what he learned from it. It's really good stuff to help survivors. Highly recommended. :)
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Blackmail Scammed? Go here:
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