recovery and reassurance

[firefly]

Thanks for sharing your experience here, NewLight.

We just show you the way, but you are the one doing the steps.
The life after a scam is always a new beginning, with yourself trying to find out what was wrong to put you in the situation to be scammed. Looking inside yourself helps you to decide who you want to be for real. Most of the victims become stronger after one experience like this one, being completely honest with themselves and accepting that the real life is different to the one we are dreaming about. Dream or nightmare, it will be over sooner or later. Important thing is that we all have a tomorrow and is up to us how we face it: as victims or as survivors.

[NewLight]

Thanks to you and others I want to be a survivor!

I will learn and educate others my friend.

[Ruffled Feathers]

Hi NewLight -
You are already a survivor by talking with your Dad and now maybe others...the whole thing revolves around education and if you can help your friends, to stay away from these sites and not have to come here for advice then you have done your part in putting an end to this blackmail scam/sextortion.
Keep looking after yourself, and getting as uch rest as you can and eat....no more sleepless nights or whatever.
Take care of you.
RF

[NewLight]

Ya I plan to its now been about 33 hours no contact, and no one had mentioned anything. So lets just hope that it all goes ok. Thanks for the support

[NewLight]

I found that confronting the issue head on is probably the best approach. Yes it is embarrassing but I have found my father and my best friend to be comforting to me. Ya they made fun of me a little but they said they understood and who knows how someone would react the way the approach is given, this site is great for the after math. Really though how can we raise awareness for these types of scams how can we stop this embarrassment from happening to some one whom is not strong willed and god forbid they hurt them selves. We have to find a way to stop someone from hurting themselves, because those types of thoughts can be over powering. Ive read some bad circumstances and I just want to raise awareness on the whole issue.

[p91977]

I was scammed by a romance scammer recently. I never been as miserable as now. Can anyone tell me how long will take to heal? Did anyone ever get closure? I am hurting....

[Wayne]

Everyone is different. For some it's easy to forget about it right away, while others take much longer. It does get easier, but it'll happen in your own time.

Can you please be sure to post his details, so you can protect others from going through what you are right now.

[Tomi]

Hi p91977 and Scammed 13,

Sorry to both of you for you were scammed. You're right, you're not alone. It helps to know that---so that you will realize that it was not your fault---you both were innocent victims of these evil scammers. So, don't be hard on yourself. Time is a great healer---both of you will heal and have closure---like most of us here. At first, it will awlays be a hard and conscious effort on your side to try to recover---but as time goes by, you will just realize that you're already a survivor and a much stronger person. It is a process but you both will eventually be okay. Just be strong.

Please, as they've asked, post your scammer's infos. These will help other victims. Doing so will also help you in your healing process.

Take care both of you.

Tomi

[Ruffled Feathers]

To p91977 - Romance scams are the worst, but I can tell you, you will recover as long as you do not allow the scammer to own you. You must break all ties with him, he is a fake and he fed you lies to try to get you to pay money to him, for a family that does not exist. Please, take some time, and realize that the people here, are here to help you recover and I can tell you from experience you will recover and become a much stronger person. Life has just handed you a huge learning experience, but you will emerge through this as a new person and a healthy one. If you you feel the need to talk further with anyone, please come to Live Help, and talk. I wish you only the best and I will promise you will recover.
RF

[p91977]

Wayne, Tomi and Ruffled Feathers, thank you all for kind words. I know I have friends here.

I need some time before I am able to post letter here. Since my husband passed away 14 years ago, I was unable to open my heart for anyone.... first time I opened my heart and fell in love .... turned out to be all lies. I cannot sleep at night, unable to eat ...lost all my appetite . I am losing weight... wait! Maybe it is good thing, never can find any weight lost program is that effective.

I don't know I will ever trust men again. I feel so stupid and angry at myself. Regardless of what happen, I never feel so alive.