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Gay Romance Scam??

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Gay Romance Scam??

Unread postby ctrek01 » Wed Dec 04, 2019 4:52 am

I am not sure if this is a scam or if I have just become paranoid after reading some stories. I am gay and I met a guy on Growlr that said he was 34 and his name was Aldo. We talked for a bit on Growlr and that same day he asked if we wanted to talk on Whatsapp. I know it's the first red flag but we moved our conversation to Whatsapp. He said that he was from Jakarta but is working in the south of France managing a Restaurant there. He said that he had gone to school to be a lawyer but has not finished. His mother and Step father live in the same area of France that he does and his step father is getting involved in local politics there. He said that he has a house in Jakarta that his biological father lives in right now since he is not there. He bought this house after he quit modeling. (He has sent me pictures of his last modeling picture and his house). About 2 weeks after our conversation he said that he was deleting his Growlr profile since he found me and was falling in love. I know that's a second red flag He asked what I was doing with mine, but that I could delete it or not. I told him I don't use it really anymore anyway. The did follow up later and asked me if what I had done with it. I told him again I don't use it anymore, but I didn't delete it.

This is where I'm confused. We video chat often, almost every day. I have chatted with him on video while he was at what I assume is his restaurant. And while he is eating lunch and even while he interacts with employees there. We have video chatted where he showed me around his apartment. I have even chatted with him when he first woke up. He often calls me on video after he gets home from work or at some other place he has been. He constantly sends me selfies of himself or what he is doing. (some from the restaurant, some from shopping at the mall, or even at a Christmas light ceremony his Step Father was at, etc). He has also told me some about his family and even sent me a picture of him and his father together and a picture of his mother and sister together. I have reverse google searched all of these and nothing comes up as a duplicate. He has even sent me a picture of himself when he first woke up so I could see what he looks like in the morning. We have both shared nudes and even been nude on video but neither of us have sent a full body nude picture.

This is where I am concerned. He is pushing me hard to book a flight to Jakarta to see him since the restaurant will be closed for a month and he is going back home. I have asked him if he has already bought his ticket and he says that he has. But he wants me to buy mine so that on the day we leave he can make sure I am not in the airport alone. If so he wants to change his ticket so that I am not in Jakarta alone. He has also asked me specifically for a shirtless pic one time which seemed strange. I have sent him one, but the day after he reciprocated back with multiple pics of him shirtless too. He wants me to stay at his house in Jakarta and meet his Father and maybe best friend.

He has not asked for money, gifts, cards or even a Christmas gift. He has not asked me to help him with his plane ticket to Jakarta or back to France. But many of his pics show he has some expensive taste. We actually had a video chat about his designer clothes and he showed me on video that many of his clothes are not designer and are usually from Zara or were on sale.

We have shared our Snapchat, but neither of us use it very often. He has said he doesn't have much of a social media presence, but I did find what looks like an old instagram with his picture and name and an old Twitter account with his picture but nothing on it. I too don't have much of a social media presence, but I do have an instagram that is locked and a twitter that is locked. I deleted my Facebook account about a year ago and my Linked in was deleted recently. I am also out to most family and friends so I am not too worried about being outed.

So I guess my question is: Does this seem like a romance scam? Is there a scam where they push you to come visit them and then something happens after you get there? Does this seem to be a standard gay scam or just a guy who is more straightforward and pushy than I am used to?

Please forgive the length and formatting. I just wanted to get as much detail on paper as possible.
ctrek01
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Re: Gay Romance Scam??

Unread postby SlapHappy » Wed Dec 04, 2019 2:12 pm

that same day he asked if we wanted to talk on Whatsapp. I know it's the first red flag


About 2 weeks after our conversation he said that he was deleting his Growlr profile since he found me and was falling in love. I know that's a second red flag


He asked what I was doing with mine, but that I could delete it or not.

3rd red flag

But he wants me to buy mine so that on the day we leave he can make sure I am not in the airport alone.

4th red flag

There are actually 4 red flags here. But you have given us no details to go on. No email address, no profile links, no pictures, no phone numbers, nothing. So, are we omniscient? No. We need facts, hard evidence. Without that, we can tell you nothing.

Before you post here, read this. viewtopic.php?f=12&t=80658

How does it feel in your gut? Nobody falls in love in two weeks. If he is a scammer, he could be doing it for control or for money.

Please read: How the scams work & Instructional videos viewtopic.php?f=6&t=24589
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