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How Vulnerable Am I?

Fri May 03, 2019 7:16 pm

Four days ago, in a moment of utter stupidity, I participated in a Skype call with a “woman” I connected with on Seeking Arrangement. The SA profile said she had been a member for the past five years. She said she was age 28 and living about 50 minutes away. She brought up the topic of masturbation and said some times she does it be feels shamed. She gave me her name and asked to do a Skype call. I also gave her my name. A few hours later, we texted on Skype and the talk became increasingly sexual. I still don’t know why I didn’t pay attention to the red flags. She asked me if I ever do phone sex from my office, to which I said never. She then talked me into calling her by video chat later from home, telling me that her camera didn’t work however. She wanted to know if I was wearing a “suits”. Another red flag not paid attention to. I called her, after she said to keep the mic muted because she was in the office with her door closed, but coworkers might hear her. In a moment of passion and stupidity, I did the Skype video call, with her typing to first leave my shirt and tie on then take it off. After increasingly sexual text, i masturbated for her on the call. Shortly after, I realized this may have been a scam and found scamsurvivors on line. I immediately deactivated my Facebook, LinkedIn and Skype accounts. I’m not on any other social media, but do have a team work website that I am not able to take down. I followed the instructions provided on this site, setting up google alerts and taking down social media. So far after four days I have not been contacted for blackmail, and have not seen a video posted anywhere. Does anyone know how vulnerable I still am? It’s been worrying me greatly. Thank you for the assistance.

Re: How Vulnerable Am I?

Fri May 03, 2019 8:21 pm

If you haven't heard anything for four days then things look pretty good. Keep everything closed for the recommended time and you should be fine.

Re: How Vulnerable Am I?

Fri May 03, 2019 8:36 pm

Thanks, Al. I’m trying to figure out if this was someone just out for phone sex fun, or if it was a professional blackmailer. I will lay low on line and do some self work on why I was so stupid to put myself at such risk.

Re: How Vulnerable Am I?

Fri May 03, 2019 8:47 pm

This: viewtopic.php?f=20&t=4509 might help. Former victims, now scam survivors, are talking there about how they have moved forward. A scam is not the end of the world, if you are lucky. It might be just a good life lesson learned on the hard way.

Re: How Vulnerable Am I?

Fri May 03, 2019 8:59 pm

Thank you, Firefly. I’ve been thinking how fortunate I may be to find this website right away and follow the steps recommended. It may have helped prevent me from being blackmailed and ruining my life. I can see how what you folks do here can really help others, and even save a life, in a very dark time of need.

Re: How Vulnerable Am I?

Fri May 03, 2019 9:39 pm

Do you think I am at risk of being contacted at work? Although I have deactivated all social media, (...). Sorry, I’m less than a week into this ordeal and still stressing over it.

Thanks again for what you people do for others.

Note - personal details removed. FF

Re: How Vulnerable Am I?

Fri May 03, 2019 9:50 pm


Being cautious is fine. Being paranoid is not. If the scammer was not trying to contact you again in a week, your chances are good.

Take it easy, don't freak out over things that might happen and try to see the positive side of the case. No contact = good news, giving you time to evaluate how much of your real life needs to be online and how to keep your online activities in separate "boxes" from your real life ones.
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