Something short and sweet here.  Let’s just say that some translation software is better than others, as can be demonstrated by this wonderful gibberish when trying to translate a “we put spyware on your PC and recorded you” scam email using Chrome’s built in translation facility:

We问候你!

I have a good deal.
22/08/2018 – I am disappointed, my best regards you Operating system Complete Visit Completion Check your

account.
In your case, Tianyi Indirect Juggling Device Software, Existence One piece of a gut.
We have ahead of our predecessor.
When you are importing Internet, I’d like to have a wooden horse cake installation your own operation control system.

This later, we finished Ryo你的磁盘转储(We Yes你Possessive Institute Add book,查看网站basis历史records, owned Bunken, Telephone No.码和owned联系human land ruins).

A month ago, Ideal Stacy 你 的 设置 设计 Request small amount funds.
我 我 看看 看 您 常 normally 訪問 的 网站. 你 Most Joyful Resource Order.
I think that adult 网站.

My idea – 你 是 个 个人. 你 有 一个 Order eye flower disgusting illusion!

Lady Nagoya, I was thinking Shinichi ‘s idea law.
Yeah Yeah Yeah Yeah Young adult 网站 的 图图 (你 知道 我 的 意意, 是 是?).
Afterwards, we are in a good location. We are pleased to hear from you. (Used 你 accomplished facility).
RESULT REASON! Unnecessary 犹!!

I’m sorry to inquire about your relatives, friends or the same exhibit.
My acknowledgment 327 Mimoto 对 于 I silence 是 minority.
Outside this time, I’ve got time to spare time and time to live!

Ikuhito Farewell receipt.
We specifically BTC钱包: 1P7bLeCJywaaDRQpT7iwb4qzUHa4CpRFyP

您不Tomomichi how补充ratio especially币钱wrapped?
How many searches are undertaken pull – in copying “How to supplement btc package”.
这 很 简单.

Attached articles, 你 有 两 天 N point (好 好 50 个 时).
Complaints of mind, timing instruments ladies Please do when you believe in this case. Strategy, 是 的 .. 其 已 经 Started!

After the supplementary notice, my disease poisoning hazards compromised self – destruction.
As a result you have received a wealthy designation amount, your own equipment coverage, your own ownership 联系 联系 系 系 娱 娱 娱 娱 娱 娱 娱 娱 娱 娱 娱 娱 娱 娱 娱…………

Necessary attention!
– Unnecessary trial 到 Congratulations 毁 我 的 毒毒! (您的own number据都ERROR传到远程clothing务器)
– required试图联系I (这是impossible manner, we communication过您manner帐户countercurrent您发OkuRyo此电Ko邮件)
– each种安All clothes务对您没chromatic帮助; formality of磁盘Certainly, you are in a situation.

Attachment: WEBOOKEN, after the supplementary notice, we are misunderstood.
Hacker criteria for black and white customers.

Ũ Start now, I Chen Yo Used good antiseptic victims Software update period (每 天 則)!

Unnecessary living my 气, 个 个 人 都 有 有 self work.
Looking again.

 

If you want to see a better translation, here’s one using Google translate:

 

I greet you!

I have a bad news.
22/08/2018 – On this day, I attacked your operating system and fully accessed your account

That’s it.
There is a vulnerability in the software of the router you are connecting to that day.
I first attacked this router and put malicious code on it.
When you type over the Internet, my Trojan is installed on your device’s operating system.

After that, I completed your disk dump (I have all your address books, view the history of the site, all files, phone numbers and addresses of all contacts).

A month ago, I wanted to lock your device and ask for a small amount of money to unlock it.
But I looked at the websites you visit frequently. I am shocked by your favorite resources.
I am talking about adult websites.

I want to say – you are a big pervert. You have a dazzling fantasy!

After that, I thought of an idea.
I made a screenshot of your favorite adult website (you know what I mean, is it?).
After that, I took photos of you and your entertainment while browsing this website (I used your device’s camera).
The result is great! Do not hesitate!

I am convinced that you do not want to show these photos to your relatives, friends or colleagues.
I think the $327 is a small amount for my silence.
In addition, I spent a lot of time on you!

I accept money in Bitcoin.
My BTC wallet: 1P7bLeCJywaaDRQpT7iwb4qzUHa4CpRFyP

You don’t know how to add Bitcoin wallet?
Write “How to add a btc wallet” in any search engine.
this is very simple.

For payment, you have a little more than two days (just 50 hours).
Don’t worry, the timer will start when you open this letter. Yes, yes.. it has already started!

After the payment, my virus and your compromise are automatically destroyed.
If I don’t receive the amount you specify, your device will be blocked and all your contacts will receive your entertainment photos.

Be cautious!
– Don’t try to find and destroy my virus! (all your data has been uploaded to the remote server)
– Don’t try to contact me (this is not possible, I sent you this email through your account)
– Various security services don’t help you; formatting a disk or destroying a device doesn’t help, because your data is already on a remote server.

PS: I promise that I will not bother you after payment, because you are not my only customer.
This is a honour criterion for hackers.

From now on, I recommend that you use good anti-virus software and update it regularly (a few times a day)!

Don’t be angry with me, everyone has their own work.
Goodbye.