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recovery and reassurance

Post up any 419 emails you received. All persons/companies depicted in these emails are either fictitious or have had their identities copied/stolen by the scammers. Emails posted by staff are received unsolicited to their "catcher" accounts.

Re: recovery and reassurance

Unread postby Imadeamistake » Wed Dec 09, 2015 1:03 am

Turamarth.

Don't beat yourself up about this, as long as you followed all the steps relatively quickly although there's no 100% absolute guarantee i could give you it is very very unlikely you will ever hear from them again. Although few important things make a avg scan of your computer if you downloaded anything they sent you and just monitor your emails for google alerts. 1000's of people get scammed almost everyday by these bastards so don't feel like your the only one or beat yourself up about it, just chalk it up to experience realize that it's just a very small part of a very long life and move on my friend.

Like almost all the posts on here say, these guys are not out hurt you just to take your money from you. That means more times than not they haven't got the energy to bother to follow through on their frets so please do not worry. Spend time with friends and family and talk to real human beings about it. Go out and have a laugh and live your life as normal as possible and don't let this person rob you of anymore of your time. You can find my story on the personal stories bit if it helps its also on this forum Slapphappy posted it a while ago as a link a few pages back, it might help because i pissed the scammer off to the point where they posted the video on my fb page (before i found the info on this site) and when i followed all the steps they left me alone.

Try to smile and remember for every evil intention there are a thousand good ones, not all people are bad and not everyone is the enemy but be strong in the knowledge that humanity as a whole is loving and there are people hear in this forum who are willing to listen and talk to you if need be.
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Re: recovery and reassurance

Unread postby Littlebird » Thu Dec 31, 2015 8:19 am

Hello.
This is the first time that i write here. First of all thank you for all your work here.
I was scammer 3 mounths ago but blackmail/sextorsion. When i saw what was happening i began to search for internet and i found you. I read a lot and i understood that i was not the only one. I followed the steps and i didn't saw anything about the scammer since this day. The problem is that now i begin again yo remember what happened, my brain say me that it passed, that the scammer is out of my life, but my heart is sometime really nervous. Is it possible that the scammer contacto with me after of all this time? This is what i thought sometimes and them i remember that you said a lot tod times that no. I supose that this is normal. Can you tell me how did you get that the fear out?
Thank you for everything
Littlebird
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Re: recovery and reassurance

Unread postby SlapHappy » Thu Dec 31, 2015 8:31 am

Read this entire topic from the beginning. Many of the members here share their thoughts on getting over the scam.
viewtopic.php?f=20&t=4509

Also, if you have not listened to podcast 11 or 16 yet, give them a listen too.

Interview with a blackmail survivor, a member of our website:
http://scamsurvivors.com/podcasts/ Click Playlist button in the upper left of the player. Scroll to podcast #11.

Interview with New Light, a blackmail survivor:
http://scamsurvivors.com/podcasts/ Click Playlist button in the upper left of the player. Scroll to podcast #16.

If you have followed all the steps, and have changed all of your online profiles, email address, phone number, everything the scammer had access to, then you should not be able to be found. After 3 months, they have long moved on.

EDIT: For blackmailed victims: Whenever you find yourself going backwards over a scam that happened over a month ago...
STOP THIS DESTRUCTIVE BEHAVIOR BY DOING SOMETHING CONSTRUCTIVE INSTEAD.
Get the hell offline, stop googling yourself! Stop coming back here, looking for people who may have gotten a video posted. They usually kept contact with the scammer too long, and did not break off contact everywhere.
You have not heard from your scammer in months, so just DROP IT. They are gone.

Every time you catch yourself going backwards, STOP immediately. Do a constructive thing instead. And rinse and repeat doing constructive things EVERY TIME. Make it a habit. Soon, always doing constructive things will be so much of a pain in the ass, you will stop going back to the scam permanently.

Some constructive things? Do real life things, off of the internet.

Feed the cat, change the litter box, and play "stringies" for an hour.
Do your laundry.
Vacuum your filthy rug.
Read a book. Einstein's Theory of Relativity would be a good choice.
Take a walk for a couple of miles.
Go to the beach.
Go make a snowman that looks just like your neighbor.
Call your sister.
Pay your overdue bills.
Wash the car.
Help a friend or neighbor with something.
Do anything that is undone, that you need to do today, or wanted to do yesterday, or last year....

How does this work for you?
If anyone asks you for money on the Internet they are always a scammer, 100% of the time.
Blackmail Scammed? Go here: https://www.scamsurvivors.com/blackmail/#/
FAQ viewtopic.php?f=3&t=19
Victim of a scam? Go here: https://scamsurvivors.com/forum/viewtop ... =3&t=26504
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Re: recovery and reassurance

Unread postby Littlebird » Thu Dec 31, 2015 9:08 am

Thank you for your time.
I'll do what you told me
Littlebird
New survivor
 
Posts: 2
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Re: recovery and reassurance

Unread postby Giftyo » Sun Jan 03, 2016 3:58 pm

Hallo, first off all thanks for your help again
I have problem with closure.
I was scammed 4 months ago. Scammer sent me a link that I didn't open. Well, because I did't not know what it is about. I was scared.
The story is this, after I was scammed, he play video back to me on skype. Then he sent me a link, which I never open. It was a very long link, stretched through three lines in the message. I have not opened it because it seems like a link from which I could pick up a virus. Then after that, he sent me a setup file in the message, which I also didn't open (because apparently it was some malware). Then he listed only one of mine facebook friend because I already have good privacy settings.
So I deleted all the accounts that I have been in contact with a scammer, and now can not see what is that link?
It tearing me apart that I did not follow all the steps and that scammer will not leave me. All this happened 4 months ago. And after that nothing show up, I have no alerts, and scamer can not contact me.
I have read all of this forum, and listened to podcasts 11 and 16, ( on your advise ) and I am sure that he is move on, that probably nothing will ever show up. But I obviously need a brainwashing from you guys :)
Thank you a lot
Giftyo
Junior survivor
 
Posts: 10
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Re: recovery and reassurance

Unread postby firefly » Sun Jan 03, 2016 4:08 pm

It tearing me apart that I did not follow all the steps


At least after doing it right you have no news from the scammer, no contact attempt and no video posted anywhere. 4 months is enough time to be sure the scammer already forgot who you are, being busy to scam others. If you decide to go back online, keep in mind that everything used with the scammer needs to be considered compromised and never used again.
Help yourself by helping others - report your scammer here.
Google can be your best friend;use it if you have doubts about someone met online. If someone met online only asks for money, no matter what reason, it´s 100% scam.
viewtopic.php?f=11&t=26504
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Re: recovery and reassurance

Unread postby Giftyo » Sun Jan 03, 2016 4:47 pm

Thanks firefly

I hope for that, because now I can't go back and see what link is all about (is it some virus or video link).
I just need to do effort to forget it. It is amazing how our brain and thoughts can be so strong, that I can't sleep. And not because of scammer (you informed me about everything) but because of me and did I do it all right.
I now have a battle with myself, I must forgive it to myself.
Giftyo
Junior survivor
 
Posts: 10
Joined: Wed Dec 23, 2015 5:23 pm

Re: recovery and reassurance

Unread postby firefly » Sun Jan 03, 2016 5:37 pm

In a way or another way, you will win that battle, Giftyo, because it is the only thing able to help you move forward with you life. Some of us here were walking on the same path - and we managed to do it. Agree with you - at this stage the problem is not about the scammer anymore but more about yourself and how you accept the reality of this event. It is no one's fault for being scammed. In the same time we need to accept the responsibility for what happened and learn how to live with it.
Help yourself by helping others - report your scammer here.
Google can be your best friend;use it if you have doubts about someone met online. If someone met online only asks for money, no matter what reason, it´s 100% scam.
viewtopic.php?f=11&t=26504
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Re: recovery and reassurance

Unread postby Giftyo » Sun Jan 03, 2016 5:57 pm

Obviously it is necessary to recognize this thought in my head that is tearing me apart and run over it with opozite one. As a result, words of experienced people like you is very comforting. (I hope you really think that in my story scammer is no longer a problem :))

So once again thanks you for your big help and words of comfort
Giftyo
Junior survivor
 
Posts: 10
Joined: Wed Dec 23, 2015 5:23 pm

Re: recovery and reassurance

Unread postby SlapHappy » Sun Jan 03, 2016 9:13 pm

Giftyo, 4 months of your own life is far too much to give the scammer. So, stop it now.

"Then he sent me a link, which I never open. It was a very long link, stretched through three lines in the message. I have not opened it because it seems like a link from which I could pick up a virus. Then after that, he sent me a setup file in the message, which I also didn't open (because apparently it was some malware)"

Good. You did the right thing here, by not opening it.

"now can not see what is that link?"
"It tearing me apart that I did not follow all the steps and that scammer will not leave me."

You are still curious what is in that malware link, aren't you. WHY?

" probably nothing will ever show up."
"I can't go back and see what link is all about (is it some virus or video link)."

You think the scammer is gone, and yet you WANT TO CLICK THE LINK. WHY??

"I now have a battle with myself, I must forgive it to myself."

"Obviously it is necessary to recognize this thought in my head that is tearing me apart and run over it with opozite one."


What you are saying to yourself is,
"I did not get enough punishment from the scammer. He wanted to infect my PC, and I did not let him. I should have clicked on it, because I deserved to be further punished. I deserved to have my bank accounts phished, my online accounts hacked, and my life further ruined by the scammer. I also deserved to have my video sent to all of my FB friends, too.
It didn't happen because I stopped it, and I feel guilty for stopping the punishment that I feel that I deserve."


Why do you engage in self-punishment? Why do you feel guilty for not clicking on the links? Most everyone would be glad they did not. Those are the questions you need to answer.
Why do you not forgive yourself? You need to get to the bottom of that question.
"I hope you really think that in my story scammer is no longer a problem "

It appears that you still do not believe a word we say, and prefer to believe the scammer, because you think you deserve to torture yourself if the scammer is not around to do it.

Are you just dying to experience some of the pain that clicking on that link would have given you? Do you think that might cleanse your conscience, and satisfy your compulsion of self-injury? Fine. Then I have a way that you can experience some of the pain, minus stealing your bank accounts and logins.

Format your PC and reinstall Windows. Make sure that you do not save any documents, pictures, music, videos, bookmarks, school work if in the University, EVERYTHING. Wipe the PC clean.
Then just try to put as much of the lost stuff back on your PC, and cry and scream bloody murder about every file that you do not have any copy of anywhere.
All are lost forever.
How's that? Good idea? Feel better? Is that enough pain and punishment for you? Will you forget about the scammer after you do that?

Or.. you can just start doing CONSTRUCTIVE THINGS instead.
I would suggest going here....
Read this part of this topic above:
viewtopic.php?f=2&t=4509&start=250#p91958
If anyone asks you for money on the Internet they are always a scammer, 100% of the time.
Blackmail Scammed? Go here: https://www.scamsurvivors.com/blackmail/#/
FAQ viewtopic.php?f=3&t=19
Victim of a scam? Go here: https://scamsurvivors.com/forum/viewtop ... =3&t=26504
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SlapHappy
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