recovery and reassurance

[GhostOg520]

So came by to give on how I'm doing. I truly can't remember the day my scam happen. I have put all that in the past and moved forward and stopped worrying about a stupid thing. I feel so darn good and I truly think now nothing can pull me down to that dark level again. So again guys here at SS thank you God Bless


casting all your care upon Him, for He cares for you. --1 Peter 5:7 NKJV


This verse really helps

[Amoch]

I got scammed around 3-4 weeks ago. A guy from morocco threatning to spread a video with me if i did not pay him money. I was so close paying until i found this site and then did all the steps this site urged me to do. He did try to get in contact with a sibling as i had cut all other contact except 3 ppl he found on facebook. I just told these 3 ppl that i was hacked on facebook and ignore any strange people trying to friend them or that were sending messages.

So i keept my facebook inactive for a few weeks and followed all the other steps in the guide on this site. I havent seen or heard anything from the scammer for 4 weeks, he only tried to contact me the same day it happened but then dissapeared. So i certainly learned a whole lot about internet and how to keep safe, but i have pretty much left the scam behind me now and it seems the scammers give up very easy which is lucky for us that are affected.

I just have to say THANK YOU to this site, it made me take a deep breath and look at the situation right when it had happened. It probably saved me a lot of trouble and will help a lot more people from having to pay money to scammers across the world.

[Tray]

Hello everyone,

I just read through the whole thread and cannot stress enough how thankful I am that all of you and this platform exist. Although I became victim to a scammer just a few days ago, I already feel much better in reading all of your posts and in knowing what tremendous effort is made to give victims a place to feel comfortable and make them know that they are not alone.

Hopefully I will be able to soon overcome the fears that I'm still carrying along with myself. I will do the best to keep in touch with you.

Thank you for your marvelous work.

Best regards,

Tray

[NewLight]

The whole ordeal will come in stages. Your recovery will take some time, but note the success of many on this site and the ordeals that they went through as well. The panic will be there of course at times, but all you need to remember is that you are not the only one, you are not alone, and learn from the experiences of others. As long as you follow all the steps indicated on the site you should be fine. Remember if you ever have any questions, we have a live chat here to help you as well...

[LifeGoesOn]

It's been about 3 months since last contact
And about 3 days since I found this page.

The fear returning the past few weeks has been crazy all the what ifs?
What if they return?
What if the post a link to my Facebook friends?
If it is really deleted?
And if since I gave them some money they may come back at anytime? Asking for more.

Reading these posts I have accepted I am a survivor it wasn't my fault I was taken advantage of.
It's still hard to think about the ifs or buts, but the past few days has given me so much encouragement. Talking to a family member or friend has been really helpful 2 as they are always there for support.

Even though I am still worried in my head my stomach feelings have faded it feels so long ago even though I was so worried only a week ago.

To move on is to accept, to better yourself is to fight the control the scammer has set in your mind. It is your life, you make you decision, you live your life. The scammer doesn't have any control over you. As concerned as I am about others falling to the same scam. Feeling like i am forgotten again does help. But with still concerns of it returning

[SlapHappy]

Knowing how Blackmail scammers' minds work and how they operate should help you rid yourself of the fear fantasy that they created in your mind.

Whether you paid or did not, it makes no difference in the outcome. Once you stop the contact they go away, and they do not come back. You are forgotten.
They do not keep any list of names of you or your FB friends or the videos and store them anywhere. They do not want to be caught with evidence of the crimes on their pcs or phones. They only show you the list to ramp up the fear and lie about keeping it.
You are physically safe from the scammer, they will do nothing with your address.
They do not keep WU receipts as it's evidence of crimes or any other payment evidence.

Keep in mind, their focus is MONEY, not YOU. When the money dries up with a victim, they go look for other MONEY. Names, addresses, etc. are NOT IMPORTANT to them.
You might as well be just another nameless ATM machine to them that broke down.
So they go look for another one that works. It's really as simple as that. This is how their minds work. They are anti-social people, sociopaths. Money is more important than people. People are just the means to an end. Once the means to cash disappears, they look for other means. They do not think like normal people do. They have no remorse, no empathy for others at all. They will say any lie in order to get what they want and feel absolutely no guilt about it.

The way these blackmail scammers work is unlike the others in that speed and volume gets them the most money. Ramp up the fear fast, scam as many potential payers as possible as most scams end in failure for them. If one victim drops out, they quickly replace him with another victim who might pay. This is why each step in the advice works, and makes them realize quickly that the victim will not play their game or pay any more (ATM Machine broke down) and convinces them to move on to the next one in line to be scammed that might pay. Wasting time chasing non-payers does not get them any MONEY. They know this, this is their business model for success in this scam.
If they try to chase victims who blocked them and disappeared, they risk losing the ones they have in scams already going that are still in contact with them and they also contact less potential payers that day. This results in making LESS MONEY. They know this to be true, and this is why they do not try to contact victims for very long after they blocked them.

I hope this will help you to get more perspective on the scam, and lessen the fear that was based on falsehoods, lies, and misinformation.

[SlapHappy]

I thought I would add this for all the 419 and romance victims, so they can get a better understanding of what their type of scammer is thinking. You will hear it straight out of the horse's mouth, the scammer himself.

If you want to actually hear a scammer tell us why he scams, and try to justify his scamming with lame excuses and lies to us for 30 minutes, listen to podcast #3.
http://scamsurvivors.com/podcasts/ Scroll up to podcast # 3.
In the first part he tries to scam our fake characters, and in the second part he tries to justify it.

This is not a blackmail scammer in this podcast, but a 419 and romance scammer. These type do not admit they are scammers, and try to extract as much cash from each victim for as long as possible. They are way worse than blackmail scammers in the damage they cause to victims. Blackmails are over in a day or so, but the others can go on for months or years. Most of the personality traits are the same, but 419 and romance scammers mix a perversion of religious views into the mix.
They actually pray for victims, and if they get one, they think God gave the victim to them. "If God did not want them to send me money, he would stop them."
It is very rare to get an scammer to open up his mind and mouth like this one did, and admit he did scam people and tell us why it is "Ok."
This will give you a glimpse into what we are all up against, and there are hundreds of thousands of them, just like this one. And they never stop scamming until they are dead.

[Ari]

Wow Slap, thank you so much for those essays, they're helping us so much.

So well, i was blackmailed like 7 months ago, everything was like other people here. We ended on Skype, where the video was recorded. He posted a list of my face book friends (close ones) and told me that he'll send the video to them, and if I wanted the video deleted "we can talk about this", i insta-blocked him on Skype and turned everything on private in face book. I was SCARED, extremely scared in that moment, but nothing happened.

I talked with those friends of mine he listed and talked to them, explaining my situation, all of them understand. This is not the most terrible thing that can happen to you, so talk about this with close friends/family member, you'll feel so much better and gain perspective. I checked in google for my name, and youtube and nothing has posted, i've never seen the video of mine (so maybe it wasn't even recorded) and he never said a price to send him cause i blocked him before he can.

The first days i was talking with friends if they received something and nothing, checked again in websites, and still nothing so I thought I was clear. The problem is that i found this website like 2 months ago, and i see that one of the most important things to prevent the scammer finds you again is deactivating your face book for 2 weeks, and I never did it, thought was enough by turning everything private, changing my name, URL, etc. Don't know if this is so important after 7 months... hope not.

I'm feeling greater everyday as time passes by, this is it, it just take TIME to restore you. If you've been blackmailed and reading this, first of all is that i'm sorry, but you'll become stronger, so much stronger, get off that "WHAT IF...?" in your head cause NOTHING will happen. They just liars, searching for fast money, and if they find a victim that doesn't cooperate what will be the meaning of sending the record (if it even exist) to your friends? NO SENSE, they'll get their face book account banned and also the youtube account, yes they can make another, but why? just why? So forget about it.

In my days here i learned alot like in those like 5k cases they got here, only like 3 of them has their video sent to friends, and guess how many friends? 1 or 2. So even in THE WORST CASEEE!! (we're talking about 0,05%) they CAN'T ruin your life because it's YOU who have the control over it. Just learn about, be a better person everyday, help others, become a SURVIVOR!! because you falled, but you'll rise up again! Trust me, I know what i'm talking about, I've passed throught it too, feels like "Oh no I'm SO stupid..." but you aren't, you made a mistake, like EVERYBODY has made in their lifes, so keep calm mates. Even if we never know, you have a friend here, just by reading this I'm with you, and hope that my experience helps you feel at least, a bit better. Hold on!!

Finally, I wanted to say thank you to Firefly, Slaphappy, and special thanks to Wayne for their help in the chat room and for running this forum. Also, thanks to the forums moderators, even if we never had contact, they helped me. And finally but not least to ALL of the old survivors that posted their experience and thoughts here, just by doing that, you're helping so much people to go through their darkness.

Good bye and have luck! And remember, you're not alone.

Ari

[NewLight]

Really well said Ari

This kind of situation is really taxing stressful and could run your mind crazy. At the end of the day, the facts are in the statistics, just follow all the instructions put forth and you can be successful. It hurts to think about being violated that way, or scammed, but at the end of the day hopefully it made you a stronger person, and its good to know there is always someone here willing to help you. YOu are not alone, and there is a road to success...you just have to follow the blue print.

[SlapHappy]

Recovery is not instant. It takes time. You decide when to drop the scam out of your mind, forgive yourself, and stop believing the blackmail scammer's lies. Do not let a small ten minute mistake rule your life. Yes, it is a very small mistake. As you grow older, you will see it as one of the smallest mistakes that you ever made. Listen to this Grumpy Old Moderator.
Hopefully you will not make bigger mistakes in life like I have, and still be able to laugh like I do. Start talking good things about yourself and believing them and you will become what you tell yourself you will be.