by kob65green » Thu Oct 09, 2014 12:51 pm
I think SlapHappy is right that there are a range of different reactions survivors can have to this that feel morally or emotionally intense. For myself, I'm living in a socially conservative place, and I worried that if anyone saw my video, I might lose my job. I also felt some shame for getting nude in a chat since I am dating someone long-distance, and I felt embarrassment over the idea of friends seeing my body since I am out of shape and somewhat fat. I wasn't thinking logically, at first -- the chances that someone I know would randomly stumble onto that video were pretty low, and the chances that it would get from them to the point where it became a local scandal and I would get fired were even lower. (My scammer did briefly post it on YouTube.) But that's what the scammer thrives on, those first few hours when you aren't thinking logically, and you make the initial illogical decision to share personal information and video that includes both your face and your c*ck to a stranger, and then (he is hoping) you will make another illogical series of decisions to run out *right then* and pay them, sometimes an exorbitant sum of money. I did that too, and I was lucky that I missed a technicality with Western Union so that the money didn't go through. I got home, thought it over, and read some posts on this forum, and I decided I wasn't going to finalize the transaction until I had had a chance to chat with some experienced survivors. After doing that, I did not send the money, and so far so good. By that point, I was thinking with my logical brain instead of the emotional intensity of the moment. I'm pretty sure that's why the scammers seem to pressure people to send the money right away -- they know that if you take some time to think about it and get support, you are less likely to send the money.
In many contemporary cultures, there's shame attached to nakedness, and particularly being caught naked when you "shouldn't" be -- think of how often being caught naked or unwanted exposure of oneself happens in people's dreams. I think that cultural background can play a role on top of explicit religious or cultural attitudes. If you ask me, about someone else, do I think that getting nude on a chat with someone is wrong, I would say, of course not -- it might be dumb, if you don't know them, but it's not a moral issue to me. But when I saw my video, it hit that seemingly primal fear of being discovered nude, I think. It brought up all of those other sources of shame and fear that I mentioned which are specific to my situation.
Anyway, I hope that helps, random314 and others!