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recovery and reassurance

Scammers that pretend to be in a refugee camp, usually in Senegal.

Re: recovery and reassurance

Unread postby Nana1210 » Thu Aug 20, 2015 2:21 am

Hi, I just found out with certainty that I am being scammed. I was referred to this site by Scan Warners to hopefully help me get through this. Although I didn't lose any money, I lost part of my heart, dignity and self esteem. And you know the really pathetic part? I miss the bastard and I want to email him. I know its stupid because nothing about him was real. But heaven help me, I still want to talk to him. Its been 12 years since I actually dated or flirted with anyone, and it looks like its gonna be another 12 years before I trust anyone again. I feelmore hurt than angry, and I don't know what to do. I know I shouldn't call or write to him, because he wouldn't give a crap anyway. Thanks for your time
Nana1210
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Re: recovery and reassurance

Unread postby SlapHappy » Thu Aug 20, 2015 2:48 am

Nana1210,

Resist the urge to talk to him at all cost! Other victims as well as yourself depend on your complete silence to him.

We ll know exactly how you feel right now, and letting go of the fantasy that he placed in your mind is the hardest step.
One way to purge yourself of his lying words and pictures is to post all of his emails that he sent to you in the romance section of the forum, or forwarding them to one of the staff's email accounts, then deleting all of them, everything. Documents, pictures too.
This is the most important step, not only for you, but to help save others the heartache that you feel.

Here are some topics to help you to do that and help you to heal.
Take the steps needed here to break all contacts and every avenue he has to reach you.
What to do if you are a victim of a scam
viewtopic.php?f=3&t=26504

Understanding the scam

The post-scam stage - waking up to reality
viewtopic.php?f=3&t=37058

How the scams work
viewtopic.php?f=4&t=24589

A free e-book, containing recovery stories from previous romance scammed victims:
"The Scam Survivors' Handbook"
http://scamsurvivors.com/forum/viewtopic.php?f=10&t=31

Our podcasts have many romance scammed victim interviews. Start with 1, 2, 4.
http://scamsurvivors.com/podcasts

Perhaps you can drop in to the chatroom for help, if you need it, too. Hours are 6PM - 12PM GMT U.K. time.
That is 1PM - 7PM EST USA. Monday-Friday only.
Live help chatroom.
http://livehelp.scamsurvivors.com/
If anyone asks you for money on the Internet they are always a scammer, 100% of the time.
Blackmail Scammed? Go here: https://www.scamsurvivors.com/blackmail/#/
FAQ viewtopic.php?f=3&t=19
Victim of a scam? Go here: https://scamsurvivors.com/forum/viewtop ... =3&t=26504
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SlapHappy
Retired admin/co creator
 
Posts: 44968
Joined: Tue Apr 17, 2012 5:18 am
Location: Just a face in a magazine, watching you post your scammer's details.

Re: recovery and reassurance

Unread postby hcs1833 » Fri Aug 21, 2015 5:06 pm

Was hit by a romance scam back in june and was really lucky enough to reach ScamSurvivors from Google. Followed the instructions exactly and de-activated everything online. I activated back after 3 weeks and until now were great. Really thanks for the guide and support to assure everything would be fine and life goes on, and learn from mistakes. Right now life have been good and didn't really recall what happened during that time. I guess I did recover well and owed it to ScamSurvivors. Thanks again! :)
hcs1833
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Re: recovery and reassurance

Unread postby SlapHappy » Mon Aug 24, 2015 4:13 am

Excerpt from a recent conversation I had with a struggling surivor. Maybe this will help some of the rest of you deal wih your scam.

Survivor:
I used to have so many options in my life. Now I still do but the opportunity of successions have dropped pretty badly because of my curiousity and those basturds.


My reply:
You are only limited by the limitations that you put in your own mind.
If you put limitations on yourself when opportunities knock, using excuses of past mistakes to stop yourself from trying or taking on the opportunity, then you are not a survivor.
Think about that.
If anyone asks you for money on the Internet they are always a scammer, 100% of the time.
Blackmail Scammed? Go here: https://www.scamsurvivors.com/blackmail/#/
FAQ viewtopic.php?f=3&t=19
Victim of a scam? Go here: https://scamsurvivors.com/forum/viewtop ... =3&t=26504
User avatar
SlapHappy
Retired admin/co creator
 
Posts: 44968
Joined: Tue Apr 17, 2012 5:18 am
Location: Just a face in a magazine, watching you post your scammer's details.

Re: recovery and reassurance

Unread postby SlapHappy » Mon Aug 24, 2015 6:12 am

Regarding the banning of a member here, that some of you no doubt read about in cruising that section of the forum.
viewtopic.php?f=20&t=37071&start=10#p83775


For anyone thinking I'm a horrible, small-brained, too narrow for this world Moderator and are having trouble understanding "Why did he do such a thing to a poor suffering victim!" I have a couple of real life analogies for you, both real-life stories of two of my friends and I.

Some people only learn their lesson by doing it themselves.

Case one - Too lazy to learn, and just wants to use me.

My first friend, M, said he was having trouble with his pc. Seems he got about a dozen viruses on it, and had no idea how to clean them off his pc to make it work right again, "Can you come over and help?"
"Sure thing, I said. Be right over."
I cleaned them off, warned him to watch out for links and what he was clicking on online, and left.
A week later, he calls me again. "Can you come over? My pc is messed up again."
"Sure, be right there."
I go over and there are maybe a couple dozen viruses on his system, so bad it would not boot all the way up.
"How the hell did you manage to screw it up this time, M?"
"Oh, I went to a few dozen porn sites."
"Porn sites!! Did you do that the last time I was here, too?"
"Yup."
"Oh, great. Don't you know those are chock full of viruses?"
"Yeah, but I thought I wouldn't get hit this time."
"Well, guess what, M.? You get to learn how to fix your own pc now. I'll go though a Windows reinstall, so you watch closely. I will not be repeating this again, the next time you call and tell me you were on porn sites, you are on your own."
I leave. A few weeks later, another call.
"My pc is acting funny. Can you help?"
"Did you go to any porn sites since last time?"
"Ahhh, yeah, but just a couple this time."
"If you want me to come over and fix it, I'll tell you how I will fix it first, ok?"
"OK, how?"
"I'm bringing over the 20 pound sledge hammer in my garage, and I'll take your pc out to your front porch, and smash the sh1t out of it on your concrete stoop."
"hahaha"
"I think you should learn to fix it yourself from now on. I will no longer fix your pc to support your porn watching, so f**k off."
We are still friends, by the way, but I was never annoyed by any more service calls from him. Happy ending.

Case 2- The non-listener, friend G.

"My pc is messed up. Can you help me fix it?"
"Sure. Can we do it over the phone?"
"ok."
"Now, G. Do everything I tell you, step by step, so I can picture it in my mind and we can eliminate things one by one."
"Ok."
" Click start, control panel, devices...what do you see? Any yellow flags?"
"What devices?"
I do it again...
"What do you see?"
"oh, I'm not in control panel. I was checking something else."
"So, you are not doing exactly what i say, right?
"Not exactly, no.
"Well, this does not work if you do not click what i tell you to, when i tell you to."
"ok."
I list the steps again.
"What do you see there?"
"I'm in Network now"
"How the hell did you get there?!!"
"I clicked there, instead of doing your thing first."
"Goodbye, G. If you aren't listening I cannot help you."
He later found the problem..a bad driver download.

A week later...problems..
We do the same rigamrole for over an hour, this time with warnings that if he does not stop what he is doing that I did not tell him to do, and do what i told him, I would hang up. He did it again.
"Guess what, G.? You get to learn how to fix your pc by yourself now. If you ask me for help, then do not do what I say, you are wasting my time, and I will not entertain your f'ing around with my time anymore. Goodbye."
We are still friends. And he can now fix his own pc himself, and he has even fixed his parents' pc with no help from anyone else.

So, you see, there is method in my "madness."
I did them a great big favor by refusing any more personal help.

And the member in that topic got the same helpful treatment. He is a combination of both of the cases above, so I hope he manages to solve both of those problems and do what he needs to do for his own sake.
If anyone asks you for money on the Internet they are always a scammer, 100% of the time.
Blackmail Scammed? Go here: https://www.scamsurvivors.com/blackmail/#/
FAQ viewtopic.php?f=3&t=19
Victim of a scam? Go here: https://scamsurvivors.com/forum/viewtop ... =3&t=26504
User avatar
SlapHappy
Retired admin/co creator
 
Posts: 44968
Joined: Tue Apr 17, 2012 5:18 am
Location: Just a face in a magazine, watching you post your scammer's details.

Re: recovery and reassurance

Unread postby nblitch67 » Mon Sep 14, 2015 2:47 am

This site has helped me TREMENDOUSLY. I was a victim of a scam 3 weeks ago and my life has been hell pretty much ever since (My story: http://scamsurvivors.com/forum/viewtopi ... 20&t=37811). Reading these posts, and taking the advice of the admins, really saved my life in a way. I'd like to thank ALL of you guys for everything. I am being cautious when I use the internet now and am educating people about the dangers of scams whenever I can.

Thanks for helping me turn from a victim, into a survivor.

Best wishes to all,
Nblitch67
"Each of us is more than the worst thing we've ever done." ~Bryan Stevenson
nblitch67
Junior survivor
 
Posts: 13
Joined: Mon Aug 24, 2015 11:07 am

Re: recovery and reassurance

Unread postby SlapHappy » Mon Sep 14, 2015 2:53 am

Glad to hear that you are learned a thing or two while here, and are warning others about scammers.
Thanks for posting, nblitch67. :)
If anyone asks you for money on the Internet they are always a scammer, 100% of the time.
Blackmail Scammed? Go here: https://www.scamsurvivors.com/blackmail/#/
FAQ viewtopic.php?f=3&t=19
Victim of a scam? Go here: https://scamsurvivors.com/forum/viewtop ... =3&t=26504
User avatar
SlapHappy
Retired admin/co creator
 
Posts: 44968
Joined: Tue Apr 17, 2012 5:18 am
Location: Just a face in a magazine, watching you post your scammer's details.

Re: recovery and reassurance

Unread postby renkilen » Wed Sep 16, 2015 5:13 pm

Hi guys,

I was scammed 11 days ago, no contact since then. Usuall story like everyone else here. Picked up on chatroulette, then skype. She told me she was from findland on vacation in Morroco. After the usuall scenario, replayed the video on skype and asked to do something in return in order not to send the video to my fb friends. I told her that the thing she is doing is illegal and I'm gonna report to the police. Also told her I dont care, she can do it. Then I blocked her and deleted her. She only had a list of 20 friends, no more. Only friends who liked my profile picture which was public.
I followed the step you sugested, and since the initial contact, no word. Its been 11 days, but I still feel scared and ashamed and I think about it. I've read everything related on the forum, but the feelings are still there, especially because I cant tell this to no one.

Thanks for everything you'r doing here.
renkilen
New survivor
 
Posts: 1
Joined: Wed Sep 16, 2015 4:46 pm

Re: recovery and reassurance

Unread postby autofac » Sat Sep 19, 2015 6:38 pm

I took action on this site today. I have had the most horrendous week of blackmail and threats, my children and grandchildren Facebook profiles sent to me together with my LinkedIn profile. Threats to send my ( stupid) video to my family and female employees. At first I was tempted to pay, but having read through this site, I am determined to become a survivor and to draw a life lesson from this.i just hope that if the video is posted, it can be quickly taken down.
autofac
New survivor
 
Posts: 2
Joined: Fri Sep 18, 2015 6:32 pm

Re: recovery and reassurance

Unread postby autofac » Sun Sep 20, 2015 7:59 am

What a terrible night, all sorts of rubbish going through my head. The scammer is resourceful and clever, I've completely blocked him from everything, deleted my Facebook and LinkedIn accounts, but the picture of my grandchildren looking out at me from his email will haunt me for a very long time.
autofac
New survivor
 
Posts: 2
Joined: Fri Sep 18, 2015 6:32 pm

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