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recovery and reassurance

This section deals specifically with online romance scams. The images used by the scammers are stolen from innocent people, usually from their social media pages.

Re: Closure.When Will This End? There Is Life After The Scam

Unread postby firefly » Sun May 11, 2014 11:17 am

Recovery does not happend in a day or two. Each victim has his/her own way to deal with being scammed. It is never easy. It is no one's fault to be a scam victim. In the same time, accepting the responsability of what happened and trying to identify why this experience affected you it is a necessary step for anyone willing to move forward. And it is a single way to move forward - the real life is not that one you can see using a screen...

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Z7dLU6fk9QY
Help yourself by helping others - report your scammer here.
Google can be your best friend;use it if you have doubts about someone met online. If someone met online only asks for money, no matter what reason, it´s 100% scam.
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Re: Closure.When Will This End? There Is Life After The Scam

Unread postby NewLight » Fri Jun 13, 2014 4:26 am

depressed wrote:i really want to look forward ... but when i think about future ... i start to think about if i will see my video in the net in future !!!


That despair and feeling of vulnerability will surpass. All you need to realize is that statistically the information and advice we pass along has a very successful win rate. 99% is not something to shy away from. These people know what there talking about, all you got to try and do, is be smart and safe in the future. Follow the steps to the word, of what they ask you to do, and try to relax.

You made a mistake, these things happen, now you have the measures in place to protect your self, with time, the dread and the depression will pass. You have people here you can talk to that have experience dealing with these circumstances, and others that have been through the same fight your going through now. I know it is not easy, I know you doubt all the information that is coming into your head, but you can not help what is done, all you can hope for is that in the future you are smarter and wiser for this. Educate your self and relax and just try to go by the advice you were given, if you need someone to talk to PM a mod/admin but realize in the end you should be fine.

Take care, I wish you luck in your fight.
BEFORE YOU DO ANYTHING PLEASE READ THIS IF YOU HAVE BEEN SCAMMED

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Re: Closure.When Will This End? How Do Scammers Think? pg13

Unread postby ratemout » Wed Jun 18, 2014 5:03 pm

Just another thought for those who HAVE been scammed: Try to remember that yesterday ended at midnight and there is absolutely NOTHING that can ever bring it back. The best thing to do is learn from it and remember that you are human, and ALL humans make mistakes - you're in good company and have somewhere north of 300 MILLION people in the United States alone for company.
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Re: Closure.When Will This End? How Do Scammers Think? pg13

Unread postby Ruffled Feathers » Thu Jun 19, 2014 12:13 am

HI SLAPPY - grumpy old moderator....glad to know you still laugh....

For anyone reading this site, please know, first of all you are not alone, secondly you will come out of this feeling depressed, BUT then all of sudden, you realize you made a huge mistake like the rest of us, that you carry over to real life in a positive manner and your life will change for the better. I am well aware it hurts, big time in the beginning, but that hurt eases off and you find you have a whole new life, with an experience to go with it. Life experiences are what helps us to manage our lives and also to be prepared for anything that might come along, be it good or bad, we now having coping skills from this scam.

I almost want to say thanks for scamming me, I have a wonderful new life, the money part still hurts, but it is only money, no one got hurt and/or died because of it --- it was only money.

I wish all of you only the best and remember, this was not your fault, it was only a mistake to have a life lesson from.
Good luck to all,
RF
A scammer is only as good as the fear he creates.
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Re: Closure.When Will This End? How Do Scammers Think? pg13

Unread postby Ruffled Feathers » Thu Jun 19, 2014 12:20 am

Hi depressed --- know what you are going through, but that depression will end and you will be able to move forward. No looking back, what happened, happened, and it is over. Don't let life stop you, keep moving in a way that is positive, yes I know easier said than done, but forward motion is the only way to go. I am sorry you were scammed, but know it was a mistake you will never make again, and also a major life lesson.
Take care of yourself now, eat properly and sleep, and over time you will feel life happening again in a positive manner.
I wish you good luck and good happy feelings.
RF
A scammer is only as good as the fear he creates.
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Re: Closure.When Will This End? How Do Scammers Think? pg13

Unread postby SlapHappy » Fri Jun 20, 2014 2:48 pm

Two ways you can help yourself in your recovery from your scam using our website:

Read, read, read the forum posts here regarding how scammers work, how to identify them, and what you should do if you run into scammers online.
Sections to read include ALL of the "Announcements" topics that are at the top of every section of the forum, "Important Information," "Help and advice," and "Resources." Particular attention should be paid to the topic on the top marked as "Stickies." {The icons look like light bulbs.}
Take a look at other types of scams in the other sections too, to get a basic knowledge of how those scams work and what to look out for. Read the media section as well to keep up with some of the latest scams that are occurring all over the world.
Doing this can help you to avoid scams in the future, and also give you the knowledge to identify scams occuring with your own family and friends. You may someday help stop scams on other people you know, making something good come out of your bad experience with your scammer.

If you have not yet listened to our podcasts, I highly recommend that you do. We have interviews with other survivors of scams, our staff here, and some of our friends that work in the anti-scam community. Also in the second half of most of the podcasts, we have funny improv comedy phone calls that we made to scammers. We play innocent "victims" to the scammers, and make up characters that seem to get them off of their scripts and onto our "weirdness?" in very funny ways. Education on scammers and laughter; both good ways to help you recover and be a strong survivor of your scam. Listen to them here: http://scamsurvivors.com/podcasts/
The podcasts are also individually described and linked to the youtube version here: viewtopic.php?f=3&t=1370

Blackmailed survivors should definitely listen to podcast #11, an interview with a member who tells his story two months after he has blackmail scammed.
If anyone asks you for money on the Internet they are always a scammer, 100% of the time.
Blackmail Scammed? Go here: https://www.scamsurvivors.com/blackmail/#/
FAQ viewtopic.php?f=3&t=19
Victim of a scam? Go here: https://scamsurvivors.com/forum/viewtop ... =3&t=26504
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Re: Closure.When Will This End? How Do Scammers Think? pg13

Unread postby v3c » Tue Jun 24, 2014 8:48 pm

Just got scammed last weekend. That feeling of fear as the scammer played the video back to me and listed the URLs of my friends and family.. I am not sure I will ever forget that. Just a ton of paranoia and anxiety since. I've read the threads on this forum and it has definitely helped. Great to see that there is a community here available to victims. Can't shake how stupid I was.. all the signs were there!! Now I am just jumping at every turn thinking the video will be up/distributed :(
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Re: Closure.When Will This End? How Do Scammers Think? pg13

Unread postby SlapHappy » Wed Jun 25, 2014 4:11 pm

vc3, if you followed all of the steps at blackmailscams.com not skipping a single one, then the chances of any link ever getting sent to any FB friend is near zero. This is the reality that is backed up by the facts and numbers here on this website. What the scammer says he will do and what he actually does are two completely different things. He deals in Fantasies implanted in your head by the big fear of youtube and fb, and has no intention of posting to fb at all. We deal in the truth here. The sooner you believe us, and not the scammer, the sooner you will recover.
If you did not read this in this topic on how they think, read it. This is EXACTLY what they think.
You are not a person, but a broken ATM. So, they have no intention of "Ruining your life," they will just seek out another ATM that might spit out cash fast before it breaks down too. Simple as that.
viewtopic.php?f=2&t=4509&start=120#p56800
If anyone asks you for money on the Internet they are always a scammer, 100% of the time.
Blackmail Scammed? Go here: https://www.scamsurvivors.com/blackmail/#/
FAQ viewtopic.php?f=3&t=19
Victim of a scam? Go here: https://scamsurvivors.com/forum/viewtop ... =3&t=26504
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Re: Closure.When Will This End? How Do Scammers Think? pg13

Unread postby v3c » Wed Jun 25, 2014 7:11 pm

Really appreciate everyone sharing their stories here. It helps gain perspective and comfort to know that I am not the only one who got caught up in this messed up scheme. There are some terrible people out there in the world and unfortunately I ran into one of them.

Does anyone know why these scammers are so prevalent in the Phillippines?
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Re: Closure.When Will This End? How Do Scammers Think? pg13

Unread postby SlapHappy » Wed Jun 25, 2014 7:32 pm

The type of scam sometimes depends on the culture there. I suspect it is this way there, and in Morocco, too.
In Russia and Ukraine, it is mostly romance scams. In Africa, more 419 scams.
If anyone asks you for money on the Internet they are always a scammer, 100% of the time.
Blackmail Scammed? Go here: https://www.scamsurvivors.com/blackmail/#/
FAQ viewtopic.php?f=3&t=19
Victim of a scam? Go here: https://scamsurvivors.com/forum/viewtop ... =3&t=26504
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