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recovery and reassurance

This section deals specifically with online romance scams. The images used by the scammers are stolen from innocent people, usually from their social media pages.

Re: recovery and reassurance

Unread postby DPC » Wed Jun 01, 2016 3:53 pm

just got scammed 3 days ago.. paid! not what were they were asking. anxiety running high. in middle of separation.
expecting me to pay more on friday. did what your site said to do deleted everything. still feeling uneasy cause can be googled. what should i do.lets just say I'm in a panic still. they were overseas so didn't bother report to local police.
DPC
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Re: recovery and reassurance

Unread postby SlapHappy » Wed Jun 01, 2016 4:16 pm

DPC,

Do not pay them again! Deadlines are bull sh1t, just a tactic to keep you in contact with them. If you pay them, they will then ask a third time, a fourth, etc. until you do the right thing and disappear everywhere online by following every step. Do not reopen or make new accounts for any reason until the waiting period is over. If a video is uploaded you will be notified by alerts; just report and close them and stay offline all accounts.

You just need to tough it out and wait. Focus on your real life, that is more important than this scam that is most likely over if you did all the steps or will be very soon.

Read this entire recovery topic if you have not yet, and check out the podcasts 11 and 16, that deal with blackmail scams/sextortion.
http://scamsurvivors.com/podcasts - scroll with playlist button in upper left of playbox.
If anyone asks you for money on the Internet they are always a scammer, 100% of the time.
Blackmail Scammed? Go here: https://www.scamsurvivors.com/blackmail/#/
FAQ viewtopic.php?f=3&t=19
Victim of a scam? Go here: https://scamsurvivors.com/forum/viewtop ... =3&t=26504
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Re: recovery and reassurance

Unread postby redoxon » Mon Jun 13, 2016 8:55 am

Hi Guys thank you for this website it has helped me a lot. Here is me “giving back”. I was blackmailed yesterday, did not pay.

The best way for me to get over, and still getting over, this incident is:
1) Understanding how these mf*ckers operate.
2) Adopting a reactionary stance, rather than an imaginary one. So instead of imagining the doom’s day scenario and living in fear, I tell myself what’s done is done. I have already followed all the steps on this site. Now IF they upload the video, I will request to take it down. IF they contact my friends, I trust my friends will tell me and I will explain to them. UNTIL these actually happen, there is no point in worry or fear. And even though I have never seen this on the forum, let’s say the video screws up your life, then what, are you going to stay at home and sulk for the rest of your life? You can react by finding other sources of income, way to live. React to what the scammer does, you are only reacting to 1 party. They are dealing with 40 victims PER DAY. In a you vs them scenario, you are likely to win.

What I read that gave me comfort:
If the scammer publishes your video, they have no bargaining chip (money is all they want). Screwing up your life does not put food on their table.

If the scammer cannot contact you, the video is quite worthless to them

The “list of FB friends” they threatened me with was erroneous. It contained dead links and people who were not my friends. This tells me they did not dig deep into my FB profile but rather retrieved the links via some program or website. From this list of friends, I identified a couple and asked them if they received anything. So far nothing at all.

Is my Video still out there?
In many of the scammer countries, homosexuality is a sin and they don’t want cops finding videos of solo naked men on their servers. Besides, who wants to watch a poorly made amateur guy self-jerking off?

If I were the sextortion syndicate, I would want to operate “light”. Keep as little evidence (videos) as possible, operate out of public wife cafes, and basically “hit and run”. If I delete videos on say a monthly basis, authorities cannot incriminate me. On the other hand if I keep 1,000 videos every month, 40 victims x 30 days, it’s a logistics nightmare filing them when I can focus on earning fresh money.

If I were a sextortion agent going for a buck, I want to earn as much money, for as long as possible, with as little risk as possible. Sending the video to friends of the victim increases my exposure exponentially because imagine the police reports that the action would invite. So I would strike hard and fast DIRECTLY at the victim, because the victim is unlikely to report to the cops due to embarrassment. I would not want to deal with all this mess when I can move on to scam the next victim, who might be more of a chicken a send me some cash.

It also helps that most websites do not entertain uploading of nudity, even porn sites expect some quality these days.

So How do they operate?
I quote from this article from Interpol: http://www.interpol.int/Media/Files/New ... nd-Answers
“Resourceful and practiced criminals target hundreds of individuals around the world with the so-called ‘scatter shot’ approach aimed at increasing their chances of finding a victim.” They spray like machine guns rather than shoot like snipers.

If I were a sextortion agent, I would be so sick of looking at d*ck. I will be juggling multiple Facebook/Skype/Email accounts, probably keeping an excel sheet, tagging videos. The last thing I want to do is to re-create account after account. If I can make $500/hr, why waste 1 hour creating new Facebook/Skype/Email accounts? I will keep going till I get banned somehow, and avoid getting banned.

The experts on this website estimate that each blackmail agent attacks 30-40 victims a day. Let’s say they attack 24 persons, and they do not sleep, that is 1 victim every hour. It is easier for them to move on to a new target, than to dig deeper into one same target, and in the process inviting more trouble for themselves. They are the criminals, they are more afraid of being put behind bars. They know they are up against the Interpol. Unfortunately the last major arrest was in 2014 from what I read. Interpol sleeping for 2 years? Haha.

What will Kill:
The thing about this website is most victims come here AFTER they were scammed. And it takes at least 2 hours to pour through the material here in detail, whilst dismantling your social media profiles. During this 2 hours post the video, fear is at it’s MAXIMUM. And fear is actually their main weapon. If you have no fear, they have no money.

If you maintain ANY contact with the scammer, the guilt and fear can make most people crumble.
Technically if you keep it to yourself or the kind folks in here, it is likely no one will know

Long Term Negatives:
Probably need a new social media identity

Go Dark for as many years as possible (and lead your normal life)

The thought that the video is still lingering out somewhere out there. Even if the authorities seize it, they will keep the videos as evidence?

Maybe cannot rise of to be a public/prominent figure? Just in case the video resurfaces 10 years later…

Long Term Positives:
More aware of scams before REAL shit happens

Able to educate potential victims first hand

Damn not being on any social media gives me so much peace and time for other areas in my life like working out, friends and other pursuits. Just get out of the social media where these scumbags prey.

Other Interesting points:
The scammer seemed to be in a hurry. In a hurry to Skype. The video he recorded of me was maybe just 3 mins? I could feel the sense of urgency. From Facebook to extortion took under an hour. This is very different from those romance scam where the scammer can chat with victims for months.

Reading through the posts on this forum, it seems as though blackmail scammers confine themselves/specialize in Social Media and Skype. I have not read any incident on Blackmail where they go to Linkedin and contact your colleagues? That seems to be too much effort for them and they maybe assume your friends and family are enough as a threat.

Potential Loopholes not covered by the steps here, unlikely but possible:
Scammer creates fake Facebook account and starts adding friends. I wouldn’t know since I already deleted my account.

Scammer uploads my video WITHOUT associating it with my name, thus bypassing google alerts and I will never know my video is out there somewhere. This however is a losing proposition action to the scammer, he has no reason to do this.

LAST BUT NOT LEAST, HAVE FAITH!!
redoxon
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Re: recovery and reassurance

Unread postby SlapHappy » Mon Jun 13, 2016 3:31 pm

Comments on this, all created in your own mind, and not based in the reality of what they do:

Go Dark for as many years as possible (and lead your normal life)

You do not have to give years of your life away to a scammer who forgot about you a few weeks after the scam.

The thought that the video is still lingering out somewhere out there. Even if the authorities seize it, they will keep the videos as evidence?

Videos are only kept as long as they can be useful to the scammer. And that means only as long as they can directly contact you or hope to flush you from hiding by uploading them in the beginning stages of the scam.

In your million-to-one scenario (created in your own head)...
Of course, if authorities happen to bust your one scammer out of thousands of scammers during the time you are being scammed, the PC or phone containing your video will be taken as well. I'm not sure what your worry is here if police have it, as the police do not plaster the names, details, or "direct evidence, i.e. sexual videos" all over the internet for others to see.

Maybe cannot rise of to be a public/prominent figure? Just in case the video resurfaces 10 years later…

This is just ridiculous nonsense. As if your scammer will keep track of your name, likeness, and follow you for years, just waiting to "Ruin your life!!" like they threatened to years earlier?? Utter fantasy.
There is a greater chance of me ruling the world someday, than your scammer popping up and contacting you 10 years from now. You should be more afraid of me than him. :)
If anyone asks you for money on the Internet they are always a scammer, 100% of the time.
Blackmail Scammed? Go here: https://www.scamsurvivors.com/blackmail/#/
FAQ viewtopic.php?f=3&t=19
Victim of a scam? Go here: https://scamsurvivors.com/forum/viewtop ... =3&t=26504
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Re: recovery and reassurance

Unread postby mfmalaysia » Wed Jun 29, 2016 8:03 am

Hi,

I had did what i should do in this 3 weeks. I had move on my real life of course still feeling stress and depress cause of this scammer still keeping my video.

Unfortunately, i just notice my video uploaded on YOUTUBE this early morning and i already make reported to flag this video. This matter really make me feel more stressful and how it will end.....

Any other way to spot out my video upload to some blog, web, or porn hub & others.... except google alerts?

All the thing i can do now just waiting and keep tracking my video everyday, just worry that scammer really send my video to all my fb friends and relatives one day. How to stop that video upload to fb or send to fb friends?

Thanks!
mfmalaysia
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Re: recovery and reassurance

Unread postby SlapHappy » Wed Jun 29, 2016 4:35 pm

mfmalaysia,

Since you have been involved in a romance scam that involved a lot of money and fake banks and identity theft attempts prior to his blackmailing you, you need to say offline for months.
Romance scammers will try repeatedly to make you re-contact them and get you back. Uploading video is a scare tactic to flush you out of hiding. Do not fall for it. Just delete the videos as they occur. Do not reopen any accounts you had open when with the scammer, and do not make any new social accounts, stay off dating sites, too.

Just rely on Google alerts, and try to stop searching around the internet. The way to make him stop and not post video is to make sure you cannot be seen online or contacted in any way. Stay strong. I know it is hard.
If anyone asks you for money on the Internet they are always a scammer, 100% of the time.
Blackmail Scammed? Go here: https://www.scamsurvivors.com/blackmail/#/
FAQ viewtopic.php?f=3&t=19
Victim of a scam? Go here: https://scamsurvivors.com/forum/viewtop ... =3&t=26504
User avatar
SlapHappy
Retired admin/co creator
 
Posts: 44968
Joined: Tue Apr 17, 2012 5:18 am
Location: Just a face in a magazine, watching you post your scammer's details.

Re: recovery and reassurance

Unread postby katman » Tue Jul 26, 2016 5:59 am

My story is pretty much the same as all the rest. Yesterday I was on kik messaging a 19 y/o "girl" things got going and I made a decision that I regret and sent a photo to "her." She asked for an email address to send a reply pic to, so I gave her an email that was complete bogus. (I didn't have anything on kik that actually made mention of who I was beside my profile pic.) She got mad and said she couldn't connect to it, so she asked for my Facebook. Told her I didn't have one. She replied by saying she was going to send my pics to CNN or the Ellen show and she was going to ruin my life unless I took a picture of my card signed up for a website. I sent the pic of my card (covering my name and the card number completely), signed up for the website, and then she told me I had to send her money. I told her to give me 30 hours to come up with the money (to stall.) She agreed and let me go but warned me that if I did anything she'd post my pics. As soon as we stopped talking I found this website. I blocked/reported her kik account (I didn't see that I wasn't supposed to report them until after I did it. :/) deactivated my social media accounts, deleted my fake email accounts, edited my personal emails to have no personal info to them, and even cancelled my credit card that was associated with the stupid website she had me sign up for. Luckily no money had be taken from my account. I still haven't hit the 30 hour deadline that I talked her into yet. In the back of my mind I'm worried that they spent considerable amounts of time trying to dig out more info about me because there wasn't a lot to begin with, and I'm a little worried that they'll come at me pretty hard when the 30 hours is up, but I followed all of the steps and can honestly say that I feel SO MUCH better. I don't feel like my life is over. I don't feel like I'm a failure, that one mistake will define the rest of my life. I feel like I will make it through this.

Thank you so much for this website and for the things taught in it. I have been so comforted by the things I've read here.
katman
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Re: recovery and reassurance

Unread postby SlapHappy » Tue Jul 26, 2016 6:43 am

Deadlines are horse sh1t, just a ploy to scare you into keeping in contact, and increasing their chances of being paid. Ignore it, and stay hidden for 30 days, stick to the steps. They don't have anything but idle threats. Posting on CNN and Ellen show are impossible idiotic fabrications of the deluded and desperate scammers' minds.

Read this whole recovery topic and listen to podcasts 11 and 16 if you need any more assurance that this scam is far less threatening than the scammers make it out to be, and far less damaging than any other type of online scam.
If anyone asks you for money on the Internet they are always a scammer, 100% of the time.
Blackmail Scammed? Go here: https://www.scamsurvivors.com/blackmail/#/
FAQ viewtopic.php?f=3&t=19
Victim of a scam? Go here: https://scamsurvivors.com/forum/viewtop ... =3&t=26504
User avatar
SlapHappy
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Joined: Tue Apr 17, 2012 5:18 am
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Re: recovery and reassurance

Unread postby mdind » Wed Aug 10, 2016 12:01 am

Hello everybody,
I happened to fall victim to this thing about 11 days ago. Life has'nt been easy for the past 11 days, I must admit. A constant fear, occasional feeling of shock that I could participate in such a disgusting activity, a silent paranoia.It has gotten better by each passing day though, I must say. I was lucky enough to have the presence of mind to not pay when this happened. I have completely cutoff all contact with social media since then and have not been bothered by the scammer since.
However amidst all this chaos, I've started to see some light. Some light that tells me, everything happens for a reason. A firm belief in the ultimate superpower that I have always had since I was a child, is what has kept me going in the past few days and it is this belief that has given me a ray of hope for a bright future. Scam Survivors and it's moderators have proven it to me that there is positivity in this world, that there are genuinely good people in this world. I cannot thank Scam Survivors and it's moderators enough for what they have meant to me in these past few days. I do not know whether this scammer will return in the future to haunt me or not. That is not in my control. What is in my control is use this experience as a motivator to be that kind of a person to whom people can look with hope and positivity. Just as I am looking at Scam Survivors right now.

To Scam Survivors and it's moderators : May God Bless you and give you all the peace in life that you deserve!

Thanks,
Mdind
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Re: recovery and reassurance

Unread postby TheEpic112 » Sat Aug 13, 2016 10:58 am

Oh hei i was victim its been almost a week. First i was very nervous, but then i found this site actually read some stories gotten feel better. I did go thourgh the steps here, but changed some for myself due to i want higher security. Got also little bit a legal help by someone. Video dosen't seem to be posted on internet. Scammer prolly didn't get any of my friends on facebook due to very closed account. Only asked those who had liked my post, i don't have many friends on facebook me as a victim isn't really a victim (nobody can't see my friendlist). But also i have been searching daily my video with different combinationas of words. Seems like it hasn't been uploaded anywhere.
Hopefully my video won't appear on somewhere.

First i was nervous now i'm not. :P
TheEpic112
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