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recovery and reassurance

This section deals specifically with online romance scams. The images used by the scammers are stolen from innocent people, usually from their social media pages.

Re: Closure.When Will This End? How Do Scammers Think? pg13

Unread postby yanikkung » Thu May 21, 2015 12:34 am

How was Dell's case different from others?
I am sorry to hear that.
However, I do not understand why the scammer sent money to him and how have they contacted with him for a year.
Did you, Dell, send money to them?
Otherwise, there is no point that they have been keeping bothering you for a year..
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Re: Closure.When Will This End? How Do Scammers Think? pg13

Unread postby Dell » Thu May 21, 2015 2:03 am

Wayne, i know. Firefly said the same. Police said the same too...actually, police in my country doesnt know anything about this kind of cases we can see on your page.

Yanikkung, my scammer sent the money to me because "she" was buying trust, sympathy...it wasn't much, but enough for me to really have no doubt about what's hiding behind that "romance".
They asked for money later, but it was 10 times more then they actually sent to me. I didnt sent them a cent.
They are bothering me because im a public person in my country, and they can follow every my step. When ever something comes out about me, they can see it. Only difference now is that im not nervous about it like before. Im not affraid of them like i was before.

They are waisting their time, but even when they are probably scamming 100 people at this point, they can allways take a 30 seconds to put a status on my fake fan page just to let me know they are still here.

People can see it's all a scam. They are simply stupid, and their statuses about me are so silly, like 12 year old wrote it. They think they can add all my friendlist and i will just let it go, and forget about it. No way! I'm warning people, and i decided to warn them no matter what happens to me again. They made so much harm to me that i'm really so much stronger, and i'f i could've take that so many friends and coleegs and family members see my naked pictures, where they called me gay - i can really take anything now.

I'm not in contact with them few months now, they only have one way communication with me on facebook. I will never responce to them, but also i wont let them f*ck with my family and friends like they did with me.

You are unprotected on Facebook. Everyone can make fan page's and make fun of people, and Facebook wont do a shit. People are naked on facebook, but till something bad happens to them, like it happened to me, no body will know how it feels. Actually, facebook put me on some kind of blacklist and i cant report anything. I cant report my fake fan page, fake profiles, statuses, pictures, NOTHING. Ironically, isn't it? Like they are victims and Facebook needs to protect our scammers :)

Annyway, goodluck with your case :)
I'm a true believer in karma. You get what you give, whether it's bad or good.
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Re: Closure.When Will This End? How Do Scammers Think? pg13

Unread postby yanikkung » Thu May 21, 2015 2:44 am

Dell, I have never heard of a story like yours...(like a scammer sent a person money first)
I hope you are much stronger now.
How did they know your account details..?
Why don't you deactivate your facebook account? and not use it?
You said you are a public person in your country, so I can guess they intentionally aimed at you.
Therefore, they mush have known you before they had scammed you...

I sincerely wish your luck and it will be much better soon.
Be stronger!
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Re: Closure.When Will This End? How Do Scammers Think? pg13

Unread postby Dell » Thu May 21, 2015 11:26 am

Yanikkung, did you read how many months i was in contact with my scammer? They knew all about me. I told you im offline and i'm not on facebook or any social network.
They knew why are they sending friend request to me. They were already spreaded thru some of my friends facebook profiles. They have scammed guy i know 2 years before me, so just imagine how long they operate here, and how much more will they operate. I am much better now. I eat, i sleep, i exercise. I dont feel sick like before.
Thanks to this page, i know alot more about scamming and it helped me so much, so i will probably thank 1000 more times to Firefly, Wayne, Slappy and other guys who are running this page. In one hand im glad i have this specific case, because they can probably learn something from this case too...just like me.
I'm a true believer in karma. You get what you give, whether it's bad or good.
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Re: recovery and reassurance

Unread postby Imadeamistake » Mon May 25, 2015 12:59 am

I just briefly wanted to throw my two pence in. Especially since I think it could help saneone out abit. Firstly sorry for bad grammar spelling and writing I am using my iPad and it's fairly late so a bad combo to start with. Right my story begins with a years denial in my mental health. It brought me to a point of weakness and it just happened that the scammer contacted me at that point. She / he had contacted me briefly before but this was the first time I actually conversed properly with them. So we all know what they do so I'm not gonna go into it but basically they trick us in trusting them and doing something exposing via a camera. We all do it for different reasons and are affected differently. This only happened to me this week, but I just wanted to say that having thought about it, there are thousands of people who have videos and pictures taken and uploaded who are public figures or actors or famous for what ever, and the thing to realise is that like their stories if your video did get properly uploaded (that chances of which judging by the evidence on this sight is nill) then it will blow over and like those people you will get back to life and get on with it. If anything the fact that these famous people have had these issues is a good thing for people like us because its trivialised nakedness in media, I know how you feel because I'm going through it but it will be ok. For me I have a faith and it's easy for me to say pray but that has helped, I know it's not for everyone and I would never push that on someone but it could help you. These scammers have already moved on to another victim, your video is very unlikely to ever appear again, I have even read that these videos get deleted because they can not risk having them for very long not just as evidence of their scams but because to have this kinda video etc on their laptops and such is illegal as pornography in thier countries. If it blows up at least within a few months it would have passed and been forgotten about, this person isn't out to ruin ur life but to make money out of you, ignore them and it'll go away, and if nothing comes from it then you can be pretty much certain it'll never come back again. If they were determined to show the video they would have done it already so take solace in that your not alone, people love you and care for you, no matter what you do there is always someone who can help you especially here. And above all, you are a good person who fell to a Nasty scam but it's not the end of your life but the beginning of a new more enlightened life. Next time someone tries to scam you, you will be better prepared and won't fall for it again. Contact the police and make a report and ask them for victim support, those guys really do help.
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Re: Closure.When Will This End? How Do Scammers Think? pg13

Unread postby Big Al » Mon May 25, 2015 1:39 am

Very comprehensive post IMAM.

I think you hit the nail on the head.
"Look for the lies."
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Re: Closure.When Will This End? How Do Scammers Think? pg13

Unread postby Imadeamistake » Mon May 25, 2015 2:38 pm

Having been awake a while I have had a few more thoughts to add to the previous, first of all if your struggling to forgive yourself remember these people are scammers, they have some knowledge on how to get people to do things they usually wouldn't.

Having read the entirety of this thread it's clear that the majority are people who wouldn't usually do this kinda of thing, but when caught up in the speed of this scam rational thought tends to go out of the window. There's some definite physiology here, first of as children were taught to trust what we can see, the fact that they have a video, in our minds at that moment makes us think they are the person they are pretending to be, we now know their not but at the time many of us do not realise that there is video software that allows them to manipulate video, so in our minds we trust them because we "see" them.

Secondly these people do this 30-40 times a day to lots of people in different circumstances, they LEARN very quickly how to manipulate you, and they I believe target most those with what they believe is more to loose. They will say the right things to push your buttons and get you to reveal yourself. If your talking to a random stranger now DONT! Chances are they are wanting to scam you. I've seen people write things such as, when they won't reveal themselves their scammer might say "fine I'm off else where" these are things to try and make you want them to stay, as if by them leaving you are loosing something important. So don't feel bad that you fell trap to wanting them to stay.

Thirdly, I know it's hard but own your mistake. By this I mean tell people and get in front of it. You might not be able to do anything about that video, but you can do damage control. Tell your family, that really is vital, thankfully mine where supportive and told me that nothing I could do would make them love me less. I know some people aren't as blessed to have a family like mine but it's important you do tell them, that video should never appear but if it does it won't be so bad if you have warned your family. Also confide in CLOSE friends you already know and trust, they will pick you up and make you laugh it off, they will distract you from the nightmare and you will see normal life still exists.

Fourthly realise it was just a mistake, nothing more and nothing less. Chalk it up to experience and do your best to forget about it. These people doing this are clever and have no morals, they set out to trick you. This incident is not a reflection on who you are as a person but more that there are evil people in the world seeking to trip you up. Also it may be a video of you doing something private, but there are worse things to be known for in this world, be thankful you haven't killed someone. Life is full of mistakes and as humans we are going to make them.

Fifth, this really applies to most of us who have a religious belief of some sort but I believe it's fundamental to getting over this. Forgive the person who did this to you. YEP FORGIVE THEM, this seems hard and maybe your thinking that I have lost the plot, but if you forgive them then you release it from your heart and it becomes easier to deal with. After all by holding onto it and by not forgiving them the only person your hurting is yourself. To those with a Christian faith I would push you a bit further in this in actually praying for this person. Remember what Jesus said, to pray for your enimies Matthew 5:43-44 go look it up and meditate on it. Also check out Matthew 10:26-33. Obviously I understand not everyone is religious which is why I did say this part really applies mainly to those with a faith. But explore the idea of a supernatural helper, I find singing songs about peace is a good way to settle my emotions.

Lastly, TELL THE POLICE, they are really really helpful. The police lady helped me understand a bit more about this and even told me not to worry. Having an official in your kitchen not worried and tell you to chill out is a good thing, it helped put my heart at ease. Also victim support will also contact you, they are apart of the police and are people trained to help you emotionally during this time and help you deal with this issue. Ask for their help and use it as much as you need, they are there for you, like the people who run this site they do so voluntarily so you know they are there because they want to help and not because it pays.

Never loose hope in humanity, but stay safe, my video got uploaded took down by them and then re uploaded and posted around my fb account before I had chance to deactivate it. I didn't have time to block them before deactivating so the other night at silly o'clock I logged back in in order to remove it all from there, I had found that fb had blocked the user and removed the video from the various places they had uploaded it to my page. However because they have done this and they won't allow me to read the messages this person sent to me I have lost the second link to the video, although I am sure because of the title of the video they had reported it to YouTube. Ican not find the video online either so I'm sure it's gone. Follow the steps laid out by this site, realise this can happened to anyone and do your best to forgive and forget. Life will be okay.

Love, blessings and prayers always.
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Re: Closure.When Will This End? How Do Scammers Think? pg13

Unread postby SlapHappy » Tue Jun 02, 2015 5:26 pm

To all the recent blackmailed victims coming to the chatroom lately and others who prefer to believe that the video will show up someday instead of believing the truth about that:

Get away from the place that makes you feel comfortable with your depression. The reality is it's never as bad as the insanity you've created in your head.
- Ben Huh
If anyone asks you for money on the Internet they are always a scammer, 100% of the time.
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Re: Closure.When Will This End? How Do Scammers Think? pg13

Unread postby Imadeamistake » Thu Jun 11, 2015 5:19 pm

Just to add, it's important to tell the police because they can track or attempt to track ip addresses and that can locate these people and help them make arrests. So make a note of their Facebook account addresses or like in my case the google hangouts web address and make sure to pass it on to the police. My scammer used several names with me they kept changing so it's important to make notes on their names etc to make sure any variant can be passed on to the police and given on this site to help people not fall for the traps these scammers put out.
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Re: recovery and reassurance

Unread postby LearnedTheHardWay » Tue Jun 16, 2015 8:41 pm

I have just recently discovered this site and I cannot stress enough how grateful I am for its existence. I was scammed just as many others have been, however it has now been 6 weeks since there has been contact between myself and the scammer and thanks to that time and by reading the stories of many others on here, my fear is gradually decreasing. Despite this, I rarely go through the day without at some point thinking of what happened and fearing the fantasy which the scammer put into my head, but I hope that this will go with more time. Whilst I do feel I'm on the path to survivorhood, I guess I just felt the need to come on here and vent my emotions as the past few weeks have been very stressful as I've recently completed my A levels whilst all of this was going on in the background (I seem to never do things the easy way!). I thank the moderators of this site and all those who have told their stories as it has been you that has truly helped me through this experience and with more fight and determination I hope to reach the point where I can completely move on from the fear that came with this experience.
Many thanks.
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